Archives – September 2007

Hockey Rocks and The Washington Capitals Rule

Saturday, September 29, 2007, 12:59:00 AM

…tall tales add to fear, yet fantasy rules as children sneer. Unknown things lurk within, as sharks from water emerge with fins. Truth is hidden in everyone’s view, while stories from the hiders start to brew…

Several people, over the years, have mentioned that it is a bit odd that I have seen every single football related movie ever made, but I do not watch, nor am I fan of American football. I suppose that is a bit odd, but I am watching Any Given Suday on FX at the moment, and I think I know why I like the football movies. If any of you have seen Any Given Sunday, you may remember the locker room speech given by Pacino’s character to the team about 3/4 of the way through the movie, just prior to the game against the Knights. It’s the “this is life and football” speech in which the coach (Pacino) tells the team that it’s just one inch that makes a difference in both football and life. He explains that just like in life, the football team that wins has players on it that are willing to fight and sacrifice for that inch. He builds the imagery of all those inches that are around “you” everyday. Every inch that makes a difference is right there and all that needs to be done is simply finding that inch and fighting for it, even to the death.

Well, in many sports, just like in life, it’s one “game” of fighting for “your” inch that makes all the difference. I fight for my inches, one by one, by one. I’m willing to die in the fight for my inches. I think that’s what the Anerican football movies bring forward so well. I mean, who hasn’t cried while watching “Rudy”. Admit it fellas, it doesn’t matter how tough you are – you cried while watching “Rudy”. That guy fought for “his inches” and it paid off after all those “fights for inches”. There are other sports movies that apply as well. Coach Carter and Miracle are the types of movies I also tend to watch. A lot of the sports movies are about real people and real situations. I find them inspiring and therefore, I use them for my own inspiration.

We all have something to fight for in life all we have to do is find it and focus on “the inches” that get us closer and closer to our mark. My fight is for my life and I’m looking for the “inches”. At the moment, I happen to know full well that I have to suck it up and beg for help and money. I’ve always managed to work or “wheel and deal” or something else involving my own power to get the money I need. My sense of pride has to go away and I have to drop the notion that I’m going to be able to earn the money I need all on my own. My fight is with myself. The very last thing that I would ever want to do is send an e-mail to former employers, friends, clients and people who don’t even really know me that well at all and ask them for whatever kind of help they can offer. I have to explain to those people that I am weak and unable to fend for myself. Just the thought of it makes me shudder and scares me beyond any other kind of fear. I sincerely have to beg for whatever little scraps I can get tossed my way.

My own nature is to give to others. I prefer to take the hit for someone else, if I know that the beneficiery can’t take the hit for themselves. That’s just the way I have always been, so “turning” that off and asking others to take a hit for me is totally against my own nature. Plus, my experience has shown that there are more selfish, than there are selfless, so the odds appear against me and I’ll have to face apathy and rejection. That is my next “inch”.

One of the benefits of living in or near Maryland is the fact that the CDC (Center for Disease Control) and the NIH (National Institute of Health) are very accessible to me. Also, the Internet has made my life so much better, regardless of how frustrated certain internet technologies can make me. I can look up almost anything and get in touch with almost anyone via the internet. I’ve already been in touch with a specialist from another country who has previously been successful with drastically slowing down the neurological affects that are my biggest concern. I’ve joined an online support group for Narcoleptics and have been able to avoid some of the most common pitfalls facing Narcoleptics by being informed by those who’ve been diagnosed for years and have tried some of the meds and “stay awake” techiques. I have learned that I’ve been more emotional than most simply because my brain doesn’t remove sleep chemicals the same way most other peoples’ brains do.

There is always hope, no matter how hidden or small, it is out there and I will never let it go – ever. In that respect, I’ll send my e-mail begging for as much help as I can get.

Speaking of inches, I know the Washington Capitals have been working on their “inches” and from what I’ve heard and read, this season’s team are ready to fight for their next inch – a SE division championship. I know that inch is 82 games in the making, but that’s the inch that’s going to matter this season. This particular inch just happens to be divided up into 82 units of measure, so steadfast belief in themselves, patience and an appreciation of themselves as a team, moving as a single, unit will be their hope and success. GO CAPS GO! If I can do this – they can get their “inch”. If not, I hope we all go down fighting and we never let go of the dream! Hockey is the best sport in the Universe and the Washington Capitals are due their inch. Go kick some ass guys – one game at a time.

I’m looking forward to next Friday’s first game of the season for the Capitals. It’s been a long, long, long summer and I’m so ready for my Washington Capitals, I can barely contain myself. Although, my Kolzig jersey featuring the new CAPS look has not arrived, so I’m getting a little ansty, because I need that thing for next Saturday’s Washington Capitals home opener.

Dear hockey gods, please make sure I have my Kolzig jersey by next Saturday – please, please, please! I promise I will never, ever call the Washington Capitals the “Crapitals” ever, never again. Really – never, ever again.

Mia’s 1st rule of adoption (giving up a child or adopting one!)

Saturday, September 22, 2007, 12:59:00 AM

I have never been shy about mentioning that I was adopted. Many psychological circles concerned with the affects of being adopted on the people who are adopted, and some those concerned with parental reactions to an adopted child. Well, if I can do anything while I’m still alive to change the “world” as it were, I would change the entire system of thought rearding adoptions. I’ll start by reminding the reader that in 1972, when I was born, the main focus of general society was on Roe v. Wade and another case of the same sort. The thought back then was – adoption is better than abortion and therefore most parents looking to adopt were considered “fit” parents as long as they had a job and a home. Nowadays, the parents who wish to adopt have to undergo a littany of questions, piles of paperwork and so on. The ONE thing that is still not REQUIRED of either those who are putting a child up for adoption, or those who are interested in adopting a child, is a mandatory list of medical conditions known to run in the family. If I had come with that set of genetic instructions, my quality of life would have been far, far better than it has turned out to this point.

Here’s why – those who know what to watch out for because they have a family history, find those things within themselves much, much, much sooner than those who have no idea what their genetic history has in store for them. Some genetic situations skip generations, while others may only appear in one person and is never seen again in the family histroy simply because a tiny genetic mutation. I bring this up because it has turned out that I have some sort of genetic stew that I could have done something about if I had known that someone in my genetic(biological) history had these conditions. Instead, I’ve suffered neurological damage based on the genetic crap of which I’m comprised to the extent that it is now irreversible and my life will end much sooner than I’d like.

In today’s world, many genetic predispositions can be diagnosed as such. If you don’t have health insurance and/or you don’t know you’re family history – don’t get preagant – OKAY! I may not have gotten the “crazy” gene from my adoptive parents, but I sure as hell got the “neurological disorder” gene from my biological parents. My entire existance has been seriously affected by genetic predispositions and now those genetic predispositions will, indeed, be the death of me (barring accidents or murder).

There is no doubt in my mind that I will not have children at this point. Even if I could, I don’t like the odds for any child I would produce. That’s a chance I will not take. No person should ever have to deal with what I got dealt and I have the power to make sure I don’t create a human with any of my genetic predispositions. My biological mother was 15 when she had me, so I’ve been told, and in that respect, she did the right thing. I am not sending guilt out here, but I am sending out a WARNING to future adoption parties. If no family history exists, any and all genetic test available at the time of adoption, should be MANDATORY. I don’t care why I look the way I look. I’m not curious about my biological parents – but I am the PERFECT example of a fetus that should never have been allowed to come to term.

Seriously now, I have suffered more horror, pain and social difficulties than any person ANY of my specialists have ever run across. Plus, I have had to use every single resource I have to figure out the cause of my troubles. I literally have $0.00. All of my savings are gone. All of my retirement money is gone. All of my assets, other than the humble little home I am now a captive of, are gone. I have only bills that I can’t pay, credit that went from almost perfect to just plain bad in less than four months. I have had severe neurological disabilities for years and years and years, 35 1/2, to be a little more precise. The last specialist I spoke with is not only going to use me as a case study, but bluntly stated that she has absolutely no idea how I am still alive. She said that, to her knowledge, she has never heard of a case such as mine and the odds of my particular genetic mix actually ocuring in a live human is less than the odds of a cat and a dog have viable offspring. NICE!

My personality, intellect and general demeanor are all factors of my genetic base and the reason why people in my life tend to come and go. I don’t get another chance. I don’t get any options. This is it and all I can do is remember the gifts I’ve been given to have survived this long. I have a new and MOST important cause now – Sleep Disorders can KILL people. I will do what I can to educate people before I die. Hopefully, sleep disorders will eventually get the same attention and publicity that Autism now gets. Autism affects so many lives and for years and years it went undiagnosed, untreated and misunderstood. I believe the advertised stats are that 1 in 6 children have some type of autism. By the time sleep disorders actually gain the research gound that Autism has, the stats will probably be about the same for neurological disorders that affect sleep first and foremost.

The inability to get proper sleep can be FATAL. NO JOKE! Get on the internet and check it out. Look up Narcolepsy, fibromyalgia, obstructive sleep apnea, parasomnias, sleep paralysis, cataplexy, insomnia, hypnagogic hallucinations, sleep starts and/or noctornal seizures. From there, you’ll see links to info. that is quite alarming. If anyone I know, or have known, happens to read this – well – now you know. Medical schools don’t spend time or money training physicians to look for signs of these problems and there are many, many, many narcoleptics out there whose lives are absolute crap, because they have been diagnosed incorrectly, time and time again. Most narcopleptics are diagnosed with depression and are only treated for depression. Some anti-depressents happen to help narcopleptics slightly, but many cause adverse affects for narcopleptics and the narcopleptic is usually “blamed” for their symptoms because doctors are not properly educated and don’t have any idea that narcoleptics have NO CHOICE when it comes to certain behaviors. It’s completely neurological.

Children with a sleep disorder rarely get a proper diagnosis, because almost every other disease, syndrome and behavioral pattern get explored before a sleep disorder is researched. Children with Fibromyalgia are usually told that they are experiencing “growing pains.” Adults with sleep disorders can go undiagnosed for their entire lives and will most likely face severe critisism for being lazy, unmotivated, not living up to their potential, bad eaters and exercisers and all sorts of other things that, in many serious sleep disorders, are just plain unavoidable.

Here’s what I have discovered about my specific genetic information (it’s a long and sad list – so bear with me) 1)I’m narcoleptic 2)I have fibromyalgia 3)I have an extra chromosome 4)both sides of my brain work equally as well (neurological dyslexia) 5)a portion of my brain grows neurological pathways at least 10 times faster than any human ever studied (hence an extremely high IQ) 6) that same portion of the brain does not seem to allow information retained to get cleared away or “archived” 7)my bones are programmed to grow at a rate that is not compatible with the rest of my physiology 8) my pain receptors did not “turn on” until I was a young adult 9)once my pain receptors did turn on, they continued and still continue to become more and more sensitive.

Everything that I am is almost gone and I have very little quality life left. I think the part that is most damaging to my emotional stability is the fact that the two people I thought would abandon me in some selfish way have tried very hard to step-up. However, the people I know who I rely on for support have completely abandoned me. My mother doesn’t count because she has dementia and has no clue. Im not afraid of dying and I don’t particularly mind that I have a short life-span, but I could have improved my quality of life by many leaps and bounds if I had known to look for neurological problems a long time ago.

Still, I’ll fight until I cannot no longer do so and I’ll drag my sorry ass to every Washington Capitals game that I possibly can. I had hoped to donate all of my unused tickets, but I’ll have to sell some here and there in order to get a bit of my money back and be sure that the seat is used. I am about 2 inches away from having enough hair to donate to Locks of Love (the hair is used to make wigs for cancer patients who lose their hair). I might even have time to grow enough for another donation. I’ll have time to find appropriate homes for my three house cats. I’ll have time to pester every single person I possibly can to raise awareness about sleep disorders. Since I’m such a stubborn pain in the ass, I’ll probably make it through this upcoming hockey season before my cognitive functions drastically start changing. At that point, I’ll have to decide if I want to exist on heavy duty narcotics to keep me going or just naturally and more quickly let myself go. There is a very small chance that I’ll have more time and be able to continue on for a while in a state similar to that of Stephen Hawking. Most likely, my lack of resources will be the deciding factor in all of this.

Hey OPRAH – can ya do a sista a solid and shed a little bankrole to help me along?

As outragous as it may seem to many, I actually cashed in one of my life insurance policies to purchase season tickets for the Washington Capitals. Of course, at the time, I truly thought my medical issues were simply cumulative problems that were getting the best of me and I would eventually recover. I also had another, more comprehensive, life insurance policy that I just had to cash-in, and of course pay taxes on the gains (death and taxes – ya know). The bottom didn’t just drop out from underneath me, it punched me in face and sped-off like a formula one race car. Frankly, as I said to Anthony from the Washington Capitals on the phone – “you do it when you can.” Hockey’s probably the best therapy I’m going to get anyway, so I probably would have done it even if I thought I had one day to live. Besides, as one who comes from the Great Hockey Void (GHV), it’s the least I can do to support a team that’s kept me in-touch with hockey for all of my life. Also, if the rest of my life is going to really suck, then I’m going to use my time as I choose. I choose hockey. I choose the Washington Capitals. I choose to watch Olie Kolzig do his thing so brilliantly and of all the hockey seasons to be nothing but a hockey fan – THIS IS THE ONE! GO CAPS!!!

Having written all of that, I’d like to let readers know that I’m still lucky. I’m still grateful for what I know and love. I’m still hopeful. I still sing everyday. None of this should depress you. Just learn, educate, give and love in everything that you do and that’ll make all the difference to me. Even when life seems to be about as bad as it can get, just hold-on to your “self” and keep your eyes and ears open for the tiny diamond in the enormous pile dung – it’s in there – I promise.

I have to get myself together for the next in a serious of marathon doctor’s appointmets, so I’ll leave with a very good thought – The new Kettler ice arena in the Ballston Mall, which is the Capitals new practice/training facility is, what’s the best way to put this, um – WOW!!!!!!!!! I had the chance to stick my head very briefly this week and it was impressive.

If you think you can’t make it another second – wait one more second -peace – mia

My Heartfelt Thanks to “The Police” (the band, not the fuzz)

Saturday, September 15, 2007, 10:41:00 AM

One of the things on the list of things I’d like to accomplish before I die is to see the band “The Police” live. You see, I did something I almost spent many years kicking myself over – I decided to follow another band the year that “The Police” broke-up. I decided that I would wait for “The Police’s” next album tour to see them live. Well, no new album came and I have read many articles and seen many interviews that indicated to me that two of the band members really just couldn’t get along and most likely a reunion was not going to happen. I think those two band members probably still don’t get along, but as they have grown older, they have most likely grown more tolerant. I decided a few years ago that seeing them live would end up being one of those things on my list that I would never remove as “complete” (okay, I haven’t written my list down or typed it out, but I have an excellent memory). Imagine how absolutely thrilled I was to find out that “The Police” had reunited and were touring. So to the fellas who decided to get back together and tour, despite personal difficulties, I thank you with all of my heart. Your efforts have made a difference in at least my life and I’m sure I’m not the only one! THANK YOU!

Okay, no suprise, I’m going to blog about hockey. Even though I would have a very difficult time finding anyone within at least 30 miles of me who actually even knows that NHL training camps begin this week, I’m excited that the hockey season is right around the corner. I plan to go see the Capitals new training facility at some point before the season begins. From what I’ve heard and read, it’s a fantastic facility. I’m very happy that the guys have the facility this year. It’s in a very good location for the guys and has all sorts of useful things to keep the guys in good shape and in good condition throughout the season. From what I hear of what the guys had to go through last year, I bet a few of them walked in there and got half a chubby when they saw what was available to them this year.

I’m on the e-mail lists for news and info. for all 30 NHL teams. A few of them either don’t actually send e-mails to the fans on the list, or they have decided that my e-mail address isn’t worthy of news about their team. Of course, some teams were very good about sending me news prior to the lockout season, but then the e-mails stopped. (hey Toronto – what happened?!) It took one team three years to actually send me team news and when the Sharks send you “Sharks Daily News”, they REALLY mean “daily news.” Aside from the Capitals, I know more about the Sharks than any other team (okay – I suppose I went out of my way to learn about Pittsburgh and I have a good grasp on their organization). I have read here and there that some people out there believe that a fan of one NHL team should not get the team info. about a different team. My response to that is two-fold. First, unlike the New England Patriots, I’m not trying to gleen information in order to get the edge over another team. I don’t work for the Capitals, so anything I learn about another team is simply broadening my understanding of the NHL and its 30 organizations. Second, the information that is usually sent via e-mail to those on the lists, is public information that can be found on the team websites, articles and other public sources, so I see no wrong in being on the e-mail lists of all 30 teams.

As some readers may know, I’m a bit of a nerd or geek or egghead, or whatever you’d like to lable me and those like me. In that respect, I’m sure it isn’t much of a surprise that I’ve read the entire NHL rulebook a couple of times. I can’t say it’s an exciting read, but its worth a good look. If those officiating have to know all of that – my hat is off to them! As a fan of hockey for many, many years, I’ve learned a lot simply by watching games and listening to or reading about those who are involved with the game, but there are several things in that rulebook that get a little, well, specific in ways that make officiating a game challenging, to say the least. With many sports, having the ability to get replay views from different angles has changed the officiating process and made it more precise and more instant than days of old. I can only imagine what those who officiate NHL games have to go through game in and game out. Unless I have missed something recently, their are no on-ice female officials in the NHL, so I’ll refer to the NHL officials as guys, dudes or in some way that indicates that they are males. These guys probably have good games and bad games, just like the players. The guys who don’t wear head protection make me nervous sometimes. I think the reason for that is simply that any official who does not wear head protection has been around the NHL for a very long time and they know what’s up. If one of them gets his bell rung by a speeding puck and has to be removed from a game, the officiating usually gets a little sloppy and that can seriously affect a good game. I’ll state right now that I have only seen one official with my own eyes that does not wear head protection while on the ice, but I think he’s not the only one?. Regardless, I personally witnessed a game that was moving at a certain pace, but as soon as one of the officials was injured and taken out to receive medical care, the game became something else entirely. The remaining officials missed obvious things and started handing out penalty minutes like candy on Halloween. Be safe out there guys – I appreciate you!

To continue on about hockey and, hopefully, add to the excitement that’s building with the opening of training camps, I’ll ramble a bit about my favorite goalie – Olie Kolzig. He’s the man! I have kept in contact with a person from New Jersey who insists on telling me that Marty Brodeur is “the man”. Now I admit that Marty’s a great netminder and he’s been with the Devil’s for a good bit of time, just like Kolzig. However, There’s a big difference in the two organizations and their histories. I read an article at one point in the last month that quotes Olie Kolzig as saying that Washington DC is a “bandwagon town.” And then to paraphrase, because I don’t recall the word-for-word quote, he basically meant that the fans come and get involved when the CAPS are winning, but tend to lose interest when the CAPS are not doing so well. As I’ve metioned numerous times, I live in the GHV (great hockey void) and I don’t have time to browse around the fan boards and blogs very often, so I don’t have a firm grip on the habits of the DC fan base. Olie’s been around for years, so it’s a safe bet for me to believe that he knows what he’s talking about. If that is really the case, then I have something to type about.

I’m not a “bandwagon” type, so from my perspective, I’m just a plain Capitals fan, no matter how the seasons turn out for them. I have been frustrated to the core being a stalwart fan, but I never turned my back on them or went looking to Philly (which is about as close to me as DC) to be my “new” team. People who only watch NHL hockey during the playoffs have been rather harsh when addressing me about the Capitals. “Where are your almighty CAPS Mia?” “It looks like your capitals get to play golf early this Mia.” “Hey Mia, even young teams from hot, humid climates are better than your Crapitals.” “I wonder if your team goes out at night plucking homeless people off the streets of DC for defense.” I could go on and on, but from here, the insults get nasty and filled with bad language. I think you can get my point. I’ve even typed in my blogs that the “Crapitals” frustrate me to no end. Let me first remind everyone that I have watched EVERY single Washington Capitals game for at least 13 seasons, if not more. Of course, I won’t refer to them as the “Crapitals” any more, simply because I know they’ve tried. I was not in the meeting rooms or locker rooms when certain decisions and plans were made, so as a fan, I don’t necessarily get the inside scoop. I was one of those who got all in an uproar when Jagr came to DC and then got all sorts of disappointed when it became evident that Jagr wasn’t happy in DC. Then, I got excited when NHL hockey returned after the lockout, only to discover that the majority of the team was youngsters with practically no NHL experience. Plus, when new rules were applied and/or changed, I had a very hard time the year after the lockout trying to get my bearings as a fan. I knew the teams and their various strenghts and weaknesses very well before the lockout. After the lockout, I didn’t know squat, so I had to re-learn it all that year and on into the summer.

Once I got a handle on the “new” NHL, I could then see the direction Washington was headed, even though the team wasn’t pulling in the points as well as I’d hoped. Plus, Kolzig was sticking it out, so I took stock in that fact. I wasn’t quite sure why he was sticking it out with DC, but I figured there was a reason. I could also see the potential in the youngsters and the Hershey Bears (thankfully, the AHL affiliate moved closer, not only to me, but to DC) were kicking ass. When I realized that Olie signed on for another year, I knew good things were going to happen this year. Of course, I also realized that this could also mean that this is the last year I’ll have the chance to go see Olie play with Washington. Like I said, if I’m not in the loop, I can only make an educated guess. Aside from my health problems, it became of utmost importance to me to get myself a guaranteed seat on the “home” side (defensive side) of the Verizon Center as close to the ice (and Olie) as I possibly could. Which is why I recently stated in a blog entry that becoming a season ticket holder was a “no-brainer.” I’ll put it to you this way – I missed out on seeing “The Police” perform live because I assumed that they’d make another album and tour again in support of that album. This time, I’d rather just be safe and make it happen before I find myself missing out – again. Olie’s 37 and if he were to leave DC, there’s nary a chance that he’d return. I wouldn’t blame him for moving on, but I put him on the “Mia Hero List” (which is very, very small) for remaining with DC and still having the “fire” as he’s put it. YOU GO OLIE – YOU GO! If I can physically get myself to the home games, I’ll be there in Row D of section 118 sending you my most positive energy, because you deserve it!

If by the off chance that any of the Washington Capitals have read an entry in one of the incarnations of my blog that came across as negetive or worse, I can only really put my apology here and hope that it’s understood that I’ve never turned my back on the team, or turned off a game, or made crappy comments at a game where others could here me. It’s hard to be such a fan and not have any control whatsoever over the outcome of a game and because of that, I aired my frustrations via my blog, just to get it out and move on to the next game. As I’ve also stated in a recent blog entry, a few fans have addressed me in not-so-nice ways as being too negetive about the CAPS when I publically type about them in my blogs and that I’m the kind of fan Washington doesn’t need. I see their points, and made some adjustments. However, anyone who is a regular reader of my blogs could tell anyone that it’s obvious I’ve watched all the games. It’s obvious I’m a Washington Capitals fan. It’s obvious I’m pulling for the CUP just as hard as the organization is, and I’m committed to hockey in general. I have always said to people who give me guff about being a CAPS fan that one day they’ll be eating their words and I’ll be enjoying myself while they chew! GO CAPS!

Music is the world and the world should be music – peace – mia

The Richmond 400 and another great voice hit the sky

Saturday, September 08, 2007, 2:21:00 PM

I decided to change-up my stationary TV watching/book reading position and go to Richmond, VA with Leif. He gets gigs from ESPN (ABC) from time to time and the Richmond 400 is one of those gigs this year. Last year, when ESPN won the Monday Night Football contract, Leif mostly got gigs for football, but this is his first Nascar gig. While he was working the qualifiers yesterday, I got to sit around in Petersburg, VA in a Super 8, on what to me looks like “hotel row”. I suppose today will be the same thing for me. Poor Leif got the farmer’s tan of the century and today he’s just hoping he doesn’t get pegged with the huge chunks of rubber that tend to fly around the pit. I hear it’s an amazing sight to see the tires get changed on a car. Leif’s seen it on TV, but tells me that seeing it up close and personal is something else entirely. The winners trophy for this event is a Rockin’ prize indeed! Who doesn’t want to bring home a flaming guitar?

I had no real idea about how popular NASCAR was until I tried finding a hotel near the Richmond International Raceway. I couldn’t find a 2-star or above anywhere near the track. Hence the reason we’re staying 30 miles away. There are many people staying at the hotel we’re in who are here for the race as well. The morning desk attendant told me yesterday that a lot of people at the hotel came down from Canada to see the race and booked their hotel stays a long time ago. She claims that the majority of people who stay at the hotel for races are Canadian. Odds are, if I’m in a hotel filled with Canadians, I’ll run into a hockey fan along the way.

I remember having to “share” the TV with my brothers when we were younger. The term “share” is used loosely, because on most Saturdays and Sundays, I had no choice as to what I watched on TV. At the time, both of my brothers were bigger and stronger than I, so to them, I had no real opinion. Before the advent of Home Box Office and MTV, my brothers watched mostly sports on the weekends. Every-so-often they’d watch hockey, so I never complained, but mostly it was football and NASCAR. I can understand the excitement that happens during, say the last 20 laps or so, but watching an entire 3, 4 or 5 hundred just bored the heck out of me. I should really be grateful to my brothers though, because I spent a lot of time reading and using my imagination instead of watching TV on the weekends when I was younger.

Since I brought up reading as a young child, I’ll move to a topic that I’ve discussed with someone very recently – Isaac Asimov. The movie with Will Smith called “I Robot” has been on cable television several times over the last few months. First, I have to say that Will Smith usually gets good lines and he’s more than able of pulling them off and the special effects were packed into this movie as tight as sardines in a can. It does have action and Will Smith, but not much more. Second, the main reason why I think the movie is a huge pile of dung, for the most part, is the fact that “I Robot” is a short story written by Isaac Asimov. I read the book of short stories by Asimov in which “I Robot” was featured when I was in third grade (yup, I was geek-nerd-freak from the get-go!). That particular story, above all others featured in the book, was my very favorite. I thought it was the sweetest story about a child and a best buddy named Robie. Isaac Asimov’s “I Robot” story is almost nothing like what the movie “I Robot” put on screen for your viewing pleasure. Essentially, the ony thing that was the same are the three rules that all robots are programmed to follow concering humans. Isacc Asimov came up with the three rules from his wide imagination and those three rules stand today as the most likely rules to be programmed into a modern-day artificially intelligent man-made being. Here’s a very viable case in which Science Fiction will most likely be considered just plain Science in my lifetime.

The movie basically took those three laws and a teeny-tiny little snippet of, perhaps, one page or so of Asimov’s story and turned it into a grand visual extravaganza that had absolutely nothing to do with the short story by Isaac Asimov. It’s interesting that no movies were made from any of Asimov’s vast array of written works until after his death in 1992. My educated guess is that he’d not be entirely pleased with the bending of one of his short stories in such a manner if he were alive when the movie “I Robot” was released. I should also note that the movie-viewing public has been exposed to Asimov’s three rules for robots in a few other films other than “I Robot” as well. I think the most well known of these films is “AI”, in which the three rules for robots were mentioned more than once and the story worked its way in and out of those three rules quite nicely. Those three rules were created by Isaac Asimov and I hope he gets the credit for them, because they are the basis of how artificial intelligence in the cutting-edge science of today is viewed and from which it is built. If memory serves me correclty, I believe that the book of short stories by Isaac Asimov that features the story “I Robot” is called “Robot Dreams”. It is a great book and I suggest it to everyone, even if you’re not a fan of science fiction. Of course, if you’re a third grader and you read the book, beware – I’m what you might turn out to become later in life! Just think though – at least you, the third grader, can be certain that you’ll understand physics better than the average Joe or Jane in just a few short years. Don’t let the others bring ya down man – physics is cool – I promise!

Well, since I also brought up physics, I need to step-up in blog form and defend my fellow nerds out there. Without the geeks who study the natural building blocks and natural patterns of the Universe at large, and Earth’s place in the Universe specifically, all of that technological stuff that most Americans take for granted daily would be non-existent. None of you would be reading this blog. None of you would be able to fly in a plane. Most of you would actually not even have been born. We, the nerds who inquire and search and are curious are the ones who find the ways in which man- and womankind progress and learn. Here’s the point where more than one reader will start to lose me and perhaps even find my next few paragraphs to be quite a load of crap or even a slap in the face of religion. I’ll take that risk and then some.

Let’s say someone were to go all over the world asking random people what will happen when a rock, weighing about a half a pound or certain amount of kilos, is thrown up into the air. I can tell you that even a Bushman or a native forest dwelling South American tribal person will indicate in some way that the rock will come back down. If someone can actually throw a rock into the air, without being in any sort of special chamber, and the rock never, ever comes back down to Earth – ever, then I might change my mind about the physical properties of my planet, within the Universe. Until then, we all understand that things with mass are affected by what scientists have termed “gravity”. Maybe the Bushman isn’t going to call this phenomenon “gravity”, but the Bushman is still going to be aware of the fact that the rock will come back down to Earth. Would anyone like to demostrate otherwise, because trust me, I’d truly love to see that and so would millions of others, I’m sure. My point is – it doesn’t make a single bit of difference at all who you are, where you are on Earth or what you believe makes the rock fall back down to Earth; the exact same outcome will happen. The rock will ALWAYS come back down to Earth. I suppose NASA or similar could shoot a rock into space with enough force to break atmosphere and the rock may never return to Earth, but I’m speaking about the everyday circumstance of objects with mass in everyday situations on Earth and not the creations of man- and womankind that can overcome those circumstances.

No human can throw a rock into the air with enough force to break gravity – not a single one. Prove me wrong. That’s your job if you disagree with me to this point. So having established that, it becomes very, very, very difficult for me to believe anything other than each and every living human walking around on our Earth is affected by the exact same thing, no matter what he/she believes about how that “thing” came to be. Now in that light, it makes very little sense to me when religious humans walking around on any part of the Earth at any given time can be so sure that their “deity” is the creator of all that affects them. Does is make sense to any thinking being that a single deity created something for them, and then another deity created the exact same thing for others, while other deities also created the exact same thing at the exact same time for even others. That makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. Osama Bin Laden is effected by the same Universal forces that I am, so why would I think he is anything more or less than I. The current Pope is affected by the exact same Universal forces that I am, so why would I think he is anything more or less than I. It doesn’t make any sense at all. Prove me wrong if you disagree.

If I were to place a human corpse that origianted in Asia and a human corpse that originated in Iceland right next to each other in the same soil, let’s say in New Zealand, assuming both people expired of the same cause and at the same time; it’s an excellent bet that both of those corpses would decompose at the same rate. In death, they are both equal as well. Both bodies are going to be affected by the exact same forces and natural patterns. Prove me wrong if you can and you disagree. So, here’s where I’m sure I’ll get some rolling eyes and maybe even worse – every, single, last living thing on the Earth on which we all live are exactly the same in Universal terms, so why is it that we behave as though we are not the same? Well, some could say that children who do not get baptized will come to a different end from children who do get baptized. Prove it. Some might say that Allah gives certain individuals a certain kind of “after-life”, as opposed to the “after-life” given to let’s say a Christian Scientist. Prove it. Frankly, I’ve never understood how the fact that we all breathe the same way and the same air gets tossed aside in some cultures and not others. Its a freakin’ Universal truth that we are all affected by natural patterns in the EXACT same ways. To me, all human’s are in this together aren’t we?

I’ve never cared about skin color, nationality, age or anything else that might make another appear different on the outside from me. I know that every last one of the humans I have ever seen in my life is affected by the same Universal patterns as I am, so why should I fear one person and love another based on something that doesn’t matter one little bit when it comes to living on Earth? I DO believe in energy and life and I am humbled and grateful every single day for the fact that I can experience life on Earth, hence I can’t prescirbe to any point of view that puts any human above or below me in any real way. I could care less if you are in the Middle East and you are pissed of at me because I am an American and/or that I am a female with a mind of her own who isn’t required to cover her face. Is that really a problem for you, the people who are angered by me or think I’m an abomination before their deity, considering that you and I were all born from a woman’s egg and man’s sperm (even if it was in a test-tube) and you and I are both affected by gravity in the exact same ways. Regardless of “genes”, beliefs or culture, none of us is alone on this Earth and none of us is built from anything other than the organic compounds found in any given human body at any given time. Prove me wrong if you disagree.

At this point in my life, I don’t care if I’m hated. I simply care that I’m a human, capable of all sorts of things because I have a body and a nervous system and I’m a cephalopod (I’ve got a brain that I can use). That’s a fantastic thing if you really sit down and think about it. I care that people, who are built of the same things that I am die and suffer on a second by second basis on this Earth. I care that people in Isreal get blown up. I care that people in Ireland have blown each other up over something that no single person has ever been able to prove physically. I care that babies in Canada get thrown in dumpsters, just as much as I care that thousands of people got wiped out the last time a major tsunami hit developed coasts and thousands more died on 9/11. The people who have been born and died on this Earth are made of the same things that I am, so why would I not care about what happens to them. Like I said, even people who absolutely wish the worst for me because of something that they believe or have been told, have a right to live on this Earth as much as I do. As one can see, I believe in peace, so I advocate peace whenever I can. I am not running around saying “new world order” or “one deity” gave us all the same things, but I am running around saying “STOP AND THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE OF ALL HUMANS ON EARTH BEFORE YOU GO DESTROYING SOME!” I’m saying this to George W. Bush. I’m saying this to Osama Bin Laden. I’m saying this to the Queen of England. I’m saying this to John Smith from San Diego and I’m saying this every last human with which I SHARE THIS EARTH.

I happen to have been born in the United States (so I’ve been told) and I happen to live in the United States at this moment, although that could change. At the moment, I am patiently awaiting my chance to be an American and vote for a new president. I don’t agree with many things that American society and culture have pushed on me since I was barely out of the womb (assuming that’s the way I came to exist – perhaps I was out of test-tube which doesn’t matter because I still came from an egg and a sperm). If anyone thinks I’m thrilled about carrying around money that has the words “In God we Trust” written upon every single peice of U.S. physical currency, I’m not. If I were the person in charge of deciding what U.S. money looked like, I’m sure I would not have put that specific phrase on any peice of American currency. Most likely, the founders of American currency and country meant “God” in the sense of “The Universal forces that be”, however, most people in the modern world see “God” as a term to describe the father of Jesus Christ. This is a problem, because “God” is actually a term that originated as a simple term for “things that we human’s do not yet understand”. Go check out a couple of the dead languages and you’ll find that I’m correct about the origin of the term “God”. In the pure sense of the term “God” I believe more strongly in that than most. However, due to the perceived meaning of the term “God” in most Earthly societies, I chose to call the Universal powers that be, just that – “The Universal Powers that Be.” I also live my life in the knowledge that a person born on this Earth was, is and generally, will always be made from the exact same physical, chemical and hence, biological, building blocks from which I was made.

Because of my belief’s, I don’t feel the need to stick a book in front of someone and say, this is how it all happened. That to me, is an arrogant approach to life and I do not encourage such behaviors. I simply live my life the way in which I believe, so talking and writing about it really means nothing. Living it means everything. Now let me state here that I have indeed read several versions of the Bible and other cultures’ “books of wisdom” as I will call them. If I were to take the underlying themes and messages from each of the “books of wisodom” that exist today and write them down in plain layman’s terms, I am absolutely willing to bet my life that every single “book of wisdom” essentially states the exact same things and that fact can be proven time and time again. I have nothing against anyone until they show the tell-tale signs of greed, selfishness, closed-mindedness and a general lack of human courtesy. Basically, and to put in terms that almsost anyone can understand  – I respect, love and trust people until the Asshole side of those people shines through brightly enough to hurt me. After that, it is up to that person to prove themselves as something other than an asshole to me.

I am one of those pain in the butt people who doesn’t just jump on the “bandwagon”, as it were. I have a brain and I know how to use it, so being a mindless follower makes no sense to me at all. Just because someone tells me that girls can’t/shouldn’t/wouldn’t be a certain way, does not mean that I have to believe in that way of thinking. Just because, even my best friend, gets pissed off at me all the time because he can’t use his brain in the same manner as I use mine, doesn’t mean that I don’t have the right to think faster than he. He needs to get over it – not me. Just because I was told to buy a certain textbook and study a certain train of thought when I was in college, doesn’t mean that I can’t find flaws in that train of thought. The fact that I am short does not make me any less skilled at being a goalie, despite what every single person I know has told me. It would be my pleasure to prove otherwise when I am feeling better and on a healthier course of life. I’ve already proven to people otherwise, but I’ll do it again. If I had actually listened to people who were totally convinced that girls can’t understand complex physics and who partonized me endlessly because I have always looked young and inexperienced on the outside, I would never have even graduated from high school. I did hear everything that has been said to me. I also listened. I simply made my own decisions based on what I know and believe and that has made all the difference. I have several college degrees. I have a wall full of certificates. I learn and I learn and I learn; all the time and everyday.

I mentioned that even my best friend gets pissed off because I have been able to go to both undergraduate and graduate school, while working full-time and I still have time, energy and money to rescue animals and be a complete and total hockey nut while keeping a watch over my elderly parents and see more than 1000 live musical performances. I’m not sure how it’s my fault that others can’t accomplish goals at the same rate that I do, but I don’t really feel compelled to change the real and actual me, simply because others can’t be me. It is much more important for others to find out who the real and actual “me” is within themselves. People have been more than nasty to me more often than not, because they are threatened by the fact that I can think so fast and that I seem to have an almost “supernatural” understanding of the physical world, even though I haven’t spent years in a lab or as a paid physics specialist. I have one comment  – get over it and move on with your own life. I happen to be extraordinarly strong and muscularly compact for a female of my height. Over the years, it’s even been shown that I’m just as strong or stronger than many men. First, that didn’t just happen overnight. Second, I am what I am and that’s the way the Universal forces that be have seen fit to have me exist. I’m pretty sure I came from some fairly sturdy stock, so perhaps I have some sort of genetic advantage, but it’s all natural and it’s all me, so if I can accept it, so should everyone else. Most of the men with whom I’ve played a team sport managed to get over it eventually, so I know it’s possible.

I think the reason I went into all of this today is the simple fact that I have come to discover that I’m the one who has to drive myself forward, because no one else is going to do it for one reason or another. Either those close to me don’t quite “get me” yet or those close to me are pissed off at me because I actually live the way I believe, I call it like I see it and even with Lyme disease I’ve managed to accomplish my goals, without support or understanding, for the most part. My confidence typically has to generate from inside, not from the outside and that’s something that most humans are not well practiced with. I’m not going to stop being a hockey fan simply because everyone I know has no interest in hockey. Nor will I stop being a hockey fan because I live in the “great hockey black-hole”. I LOVE HOCKEY – DEAL WITH IT! I’m not going to stop being curious about things simply because others don’t have the same pursuit. I’m not going to let anyone degrade me because he/she doesn’t like the way I am – not even my own family. So hate me if you must. Hurt my feelings if it makes you feel better. Call me names if that gives you some sense of satisfaction. I have been hurt by others emotionally and I will continue to be hurt by people, because I am sensetive to those things. However, I take the hit, I feel it and then I move on.

In “Mia” recent history, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my best friend of almost eight years and I have stepped onto two completely seperate paths. Our relationship is now different. It will never, ever be the same again. To say that we will never speak again is probably incorrect. To say that we won’t have some good times together again is also probably incorrect. On the other hand, to say that I will NOT be as trusting with my feelings in the hands of my friend is absolutely correct. It’s been revealed over the years that most of the people who are close to me end up doing everything in their power to push and challenge MY BOUNDRIES. Whereas, I have no such inclination because I don’t particularly want to find the line that I should not cross in someone else’s personal world. It seems a complete waste of energy to me and I’m a gigantic advocate of wise energy use, even in the everday happenstance. The problem arises when someone has found that line that should not be crossed in Mia World and then immediately finds it necessary to cross that line to “see” what I will do. Why it surprises people when I finally make it abundantly clear that the line has been crossed and I am then very pissed off or upset is beyond me. The people who tend to surround me want something from me, and when they can’t get it for whatever reason, their attention turns to attempts at making me feel like shit or they simply ditch me and move on to another for their needs. My life, as it has unfolded has been mostly shit and ugliness, so why I would let anyone who knows about my life continue to think I would tolerate someone constantly pushing my buttons for no reason other their own selfish reasons, is also beyond me. I’m not perfect. I get scared out of my f’ing mind sometimes, but I face it and hope for the best, most of the time, if the fear is in my way. I make command decisions extremely easily, yet I am just as capable of admitting an incorrect course of action and adjusting my thinking and behaviors when new information comes to light.

It seems that I’m usually the scape-goat. It seems that I’m usually the one who ends up doing the right thing and motivating others. It seems that I’m the one who ends up hanging my ass out on the line without cowering in the face of opposition. It’s a pattern I cannot ignore, nor could anyone else who could walk along with me in my shoes, if that were possible. Fine. That is the way it is and people will always be pissed off at me because they cannot understand me and they cannot push their beliefs down my throat. I have no problem with agreeing to disagree, so long as the other party concedes that I also have valid opinions and thoughts, as I do when I discuss things with people. I am not always right. I make really stupid mistakes that others could have seen from miles away sometimes. I struggle with the same inner crap that many millions of people struggle with every single day. I just don’t get in the habit of letting it keep me down, so to speak. I know – I suck and I should keep my thoughts to mysef right? Perhaps, but that is not in my nature and I will not go against my own nature simply because it makes others get all pissed off or envious of me for some reason. If I am doing to someone else what I don’t like having done to me and it upsets them, the only possible reason for that in Mia World is simply that I did not know I was doing it. A simple HONEST conversation will solve that problem immediately. If I don’t know – tell me. I will listen. I don’t know everything, nor can I actually read the minds of others, so TALK IT OUT – FIGURE IT OUT – COMMUNICATE – COMPROMISE. Closing the door to those things is the best way to get rid of me, in case one feels the need to do so.

In the largest sense of the words “I’m starting all over again – again – again”, I really am starting all over again -again. This time I have to find a way to deal with certain stresses and BS that comes with life in an entirely new way. My own life actually depends on how I react to certain things. This kind of thing takes time and practice and patience and lots of mistakes from which to learn. I’m not the same person I was six months ago and now I have all the freedom in the world to leave the state of Maryland if I wish or even the United States if I wish. I don’t have to plan my time around anyone else at this moment. If it comes to pass that I do have to consider others when making certain decisions, I would learn how to do that as well. Any which way, I’m too tired of feeling anything other than I’m doing what I was meant to do no matter what anyone thinks or concludes because I am a short, thickly-muscled, ass-kicking female whose inner child seems to have stayed in my face. BITE ME IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT and TALK TO ME IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW. It’s just that simple. My friend who has gone a different way, I love you and I know you’ll figure it out because I have faith in you. I have to protect myself from you though, so there should be no expectation that we will relate in the way we related in the past. Case closed – take it or leave it.

I’m deeply saddened by the death of Luciano Pavarotti. He was the very first person I ever heard sing opera. It was the most amazing thing ever! I used to make little quips about how I was certain that if we x-rayed Pavarotti’s chest, we’d find four sets of lungs and two diaphrams. What a talent. If I could sing like that – I’d not be typing this blog right now. I’d be out sharing that voice every single chance I got! One of the benefits of music is that it can be recorded exactly as it happened and can then transcend time, because children who are not yet born will still be able to enjoy Pavarotti’s fantastic vocal talents for years to come. Thank you Luciano for opening your mouth. You’re an inspiration always.

Go sing at the bus stop and then tell those around you that Pavarotti sent you – less than a month ’till the NHL season – wee-haa – GO CAPS! – peace – mia

Son of a ….

Tuesday, September 04, 2007, 12:59:00 AM

Happy day after Labor Day (US) out there! I got a special present for the holiday – a badly sprained right ankle/foot. Rock! Thankfully, the SPIKE channel had a CSI marathon. This is what I get for wearing flip-flops. Now I’m certainly stuck in the house for at least an entire week, if not more! I’d like to type out some bad words and all that, but what’s done is done. Luckily for me, there were people at the house when I fell down the steps (I was trying to avoid putting my full weight on my left foot, because I could feel a nail poking through my shoe) and one of those people is a military medical specialist. Plus, I know the drill anyway – Ice, keep foot in anatomical position, no weight on foot and keep foot elevated. I got x-rays, just to check, because I heard a “crack” when I twisted my ankle. No visible break was seen, so it’s just a matter of being nice to my foot for a couple of weeks.

It must be a balance thing. Last year, about this time of year, my left foot was in bad shape. I guess my right foot felt left out? Who knows. It looks like I might finish some of the reading I previously thought might take me a while. AAAAAARRRRRRRRGH! I have too much to do for this to be happening right now. I’ll admit that my temperment is a little more “touchy” of late. I think frustration is taking it’s toll at the moment (okay, I don’t “think” that – I know it for sure – damn). Too bad I don’t have a punching bag or something – that would be very nice right about now-really, really, very nice right now. I could just punch and punch and punch and punch and punch until I just can’t punch anymore. Yes, that would be nice.

Anyway, so as not to actually type something here that comes straight out of frustraion, I think the blogging will have to be put on hold for a little while. Besides, now I really have to find some help to get even day-to-day things done and that could become difficult. On a positive note, I have to say again – thank you COBRA!

There’s still music and hope – don’t forget – I promise I won’t – peace – mia

From every bad, can come several goods

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 2:14:00 PM

Awsome, I found out early this morning that one of my blog entries has been linked all over the place. I found a really cool Yahoo place where questions are asked and readers get the chance to answer the question. The best answer of the day gets posted. In November of 2006, I wrote and entry called Moving Beyond the Buckeyball and it has been linked in a variety of different sites. I’m very pleased that internet readers have found that particular blog entry to be interesting. I think the yahoo link tagged the entry as a “fun to read related article”. Since I did, in fact, place scientific “knowns” and also “unknowns” into the entry, I am not sure one could actually call my blog entry an “article”, but it does contain sound Quantum theory. My educated opinions are included in the entry, but they are just that – opinions. Still, for nerds like me, it’s nice to know that some Quantum enthusiasts find my blog “fun to read.” Anything scientific based that is also fun to read can’t be all bad.

I also found some of my entries linked to hockey related sites and a few of my entries have actually been cited on some rather “high-profile” sites. It was quite a treat for me to see how others view my entries and how they have reacted to them. I don’t get very many “open” comments on my blog, but I do get a lot of “private” comments via email, so I knew that certain people had read at least one of my entries. Surpsrisingly, a particular “celebrity” loves to read my blog. Obviously, no one will be getting any ideas here as to who that “celebrity” might be. I’m a pain in the butt that way. Privacy is important and I understand that very well. Regardless, it was a good time finding out all these things in the wee hours of the morning.

Every so often, I’ll take the time on my blog to address recent comments and answer questions asked by a variety of readers. I’ll dive right into the difficult stuff first. A reader from Ontario, Canada who prefers not to be identified has asked me how I can be so honest and open about the details of my life and how I don’t seem to be phased by my current health situation.

First, it isn’t that I’m not phased by the fact that I could literally die at almost any moment if certain circumstances arise. I should bring readers up to speed a bit so things make a little more sense. Most returning readers know that I have Lyme Disease. I’ve had Lyme for more than 8 years and it went undiagnosed for those 8 years. I cycled the bacteria through all three stages at least three times since being bitten by a Deer Tick. It is very rare that this sort of situation happens, but here it is, nonetheless. Two very critical problems have arisen as a result of having Lyme for so long a period without proper medical attention. First, my immune system took a severe beating in it’s attempts to irradicate the bacteria each time it cycled. Since my immune system has been working so hard, for so long, it needs a break immediately. I am much more prone to illness than most adults my age (35), so I have to proceed through my days very carefully nowadays. If I were to get the flu or something similar, I could easily land in the hospital and there’s a good chance that even a flu could be fatal for me.

Second, I have a very small congenital irregularity related to my pericardial sack. That’s the protective “heart-sack” located around a human heart. Basically, in normal everyday terms, it doesn’t affect me in the slightest. Certain dental related difficulties and rare viruses can set-off an attack of carditis. This means that my “heart-sack” will start to tighten and basically strangles my heart. Again, in normal everyday life, this is not a problem for me at all. However, with a reduced immune response and the fact that Lyme disease is known to cause carditis (known as Lyme Carditis), there is a fairly high chance that I’ll have an attack of carditis as compared to the average person walking around in the US. If I suffer an attack of carditis and I cannot keep my blood pressure and other related physiology stable for long enough for an anti-inflammatory to reduce the “heart-sack” inflammation, my heart could literally get “squeezed” to the point where it actually explodes. An exploded heart can’t sustain a human life, therefore,  I will expire very fast if that happens.

I’m one of those “straight talkers” who just kinda puts it out there as I see it and I don’t usuall beat around a bush or candy-coat things when I speak. Some people appreciate that and others dislike my upfrontness (if that’s a word?). Either way, I am fairly blunt most of the time and that’s just how I do, as they say. In that vein, I’ll type it out in plain terms – holy exploding heart Batman, I could drop at any minute – just like that! I shut my eyes to go to sleep and wonder if I’ll wake up fast enough to respond to an attack of carditis. I practice keeping my physiology stable all the time, just so I don’t panic when an attack of carditis occurs. If I panic, I raise my blood-pressure and that means my heart will beat faster and stronger. That will then cause my “heart -sack” to tighten even further. Of course, I am “phased” by this. Who wants to walk around all day with the thought that at any minute, I could just stop being me and die. I worry about my animals and my friends that I will leave behind. I’ve got things I’d like to accomplish before I go and I’d like more time to accomplish them. The simple fact, however, is that I get a new day everyday. So does everyone else. Most people don’t perceive the beauty of everyday though. I do, because I might be running short of days.

In general, I know I’m strong, I’ve survived cervical cancer, car accidents and other things, so I’m fully of the mind that I’ll survive this as well. The most difficult part of my current situation is not the fact that I could go any time at this point, it’s remaining vigilant about only imagining myself as completely healthy. The most important thing one can do in a situation such as mine is “visualize” one’s self at all times as completely healthy. I wouldn’t want the Universe to pick-up anything but that. I believe in myself. I believe in my power to “heal” myself. Many times, that’s all it takes. I’m healthy and I’m alive. That’s the way I typically approach the subject. I’m positive I’ll be just fine. I’m just realistic enought to know that anyone can go at anytime, so having arrangements prepared for such a thing is wise. Having my “affairs” in order at such an age is uncommon, but it shouldn’t be, as far as I’m concerned. I’m somewhat of a planner anyway, so it’s natural I would think about the future, even if I’m not physically in it.

I am “phased”, but I am not defeated and that is the main point. I wrote down a list of things I’d like to accomplish before I depart the Earth a long time ago. Since, I’ve done a good job of accomplishing many of the things on my list. I hiked to the top of an active volcanoe (twice actually), I’ve been to a major rainforest. I’ve performed my own original music in front of other people who I didn’t know. I’ve played hockey. I’ve rescued many animals. I’ve seen more than 1000 live musical performances. I shot for 1000 and passed that at least 6 years ago. Anything over that number is pure gravy! I graduated from High School. I graduated with two degrees from a 4-year university. I’ve gone back to people who gave me a helping a hand over the years and made my best attempt to thank them or pay them back in some way. I’ve been on every continent, except for Antartica. I’ve been to all 50 states in the US. I’ve flown both a helicopter and a single engine plane by myself. So many things. Many more to do. If I go and I haven’t accomplished them all then that’s just the way it will be. Until then, I will proceed forward as I have been.

I mentioned in a previous entry that I am lucky. I am indeed very lucky. So far, I’ve been blessed with the ability to just keep getting back up, even after major disaster strikes. I have all of my limbs. I can see and hear and talk. I am not so disabled that I cannot continue to work on my list of things I’d like to accomplish. For example, many returning readers know I’m a hockey fan. In particular, I’m a Washington Capitals fan. Well, in July an unsettling reality inspired me to do what I’d actually hoped to accomplish at around the age of 40. I’m now a season ticket holder. YAY! This may not seem like an accomplishment to the average reader, but for me personally, it’s like having a seat to the best 44 days of my life thus far. Plus, as I’ve mentioned, it’s the perfect situation for me given my circumstances. My goal is to attend every single Washington Capitals home game in the 2007 – 2008 season. If I can’t, someone out there’ll get a chance to sit in the 4th row – on the house, so to speak. Now that’s a win/win situation if I’ve ever heard one. I get out of the house. I get exercise. I get to talk to fellow CAPS fans. I get to see my boy Kolzig in action. I get to visit my friends who live in the DC/VA area. I get to essentially dedicate an entire hockey season to JUST BEING A FAN. My entire schedule is already set through April, at least. Any work or personal commitments are scheduled around the Washington Capitals season.

Since I can legally do business in DC and surrounding area, I have the ability to actually pull-off this feat this upcoming season. I may never have this chance again, so to me, this one’s a no-brainer! I’ll most likely struggle with money. I’ll have difficulties, I’m sure. It’ll be a challange of the highest degree on certain days when I get wiped out even before the game starts. It’s all good with me. This is a very exciting time for the Washington Capitals. The team is full of young and talented hopefulls who one day will be household names in hockey towns all over North America and beyond. Olie Kolzig provides leadership and wisdom. Ovechkin and other fairly new NHLers provide the skill and excitement. I’m totally thrilled to watch the team grow and evolve over the next year. There have been some recent additions to the Capitals that lead me to believe that it’s going to be a fantastic season! I’m also one of those who hopes daily that Kolzig gets a chance to hold up the cup as a Washington Capital. I visualize Kolzig in a CAPS jersey with the cup all the time. Okay, now everybody vsualize it – maybe it’ll work! Hockey is my passion. Music is my peace. If I drop – I’m gonna go as a season ticket holder and I’m gonna go with the image of the Stanely Cup in Washington’s possession in my head, no matter what happens.

Starting my own animal rescue, behavioral and social services organization was another goal I’d hoped I could accomplish by age 40. Well, there is no time like the present, so I’m well underway with that goal as well. It may even take me until I’m 40 to get it all straight, but the process has started and I’m not backing off. Running and organizing First Love Animal Services Inc. just happens to work well with the CAPS 2007 – 2008 season. I make my own hours (except in the case of a major animal related emergency – then I would probably sacrifice a live game or two to make sure I put the animals I appreciate and love so much on this Earth first – I mean that is my job now). One might wonder how money can be made in such a “business” as mine. That is a good question. One that I will not answer here today. An anwer is planned for that question, but until I am sure all the appropriate paperwork and legal mumbo jumbo has been filed, I would prefer to hold-off making any statements. I’ve already encountered suprises and small issues, so my “business” is morhping almost everyday at this point. By the end of December, all things should be more stable and predictable. I’ll save the answer for early in January 2008.

Coincidentally, I started typing about the Washington Capital’s starting net-minder, Olie Kolzig, who’s sometimes called “Godzilla”. No sooner did I do that, did the moie “Godzilla” come on the channel I’m not really watching at the moment. Yeah, Zilla’s my hockey hero. First, it’s a goalie thing – kinda sympatico if you catch my drift. Second, he was the very first ice hockey goalie I ever saw live and in action. I am not entirely certain of the year right off hand, but I think it was maybe ’91 or ’92 when he played a bit for the Baltimore Skipjacks. I went with some friends of the family. Immediately following that game, I knew beyond any shadow of any doubt that of all the nets I could possibly “mind”, the ice hockey net was just what I was looking for. It took me ten years to actually play hockey in any somewhat organized fashion, but I was right. For some reason, hockey’s my thing and seeing Olie play was the reason I realized it without a doubt. Plus, as I’ve mentioned, he’s a brilliant goalie and he’s been a part of the Washington Capitals for years and years. I had no idea a “newer” version of Godzilla had been made. This one had to have been made in the last seven years or so. It’s much more realistic than the Japanese made Godzilla movies from days past. I prefer the older moves. They’re so cheesy, they’re actually fun to watch. Remember Mothra!?

Several readers have contacted me to tell me that I typed “ying/yang” in a previous blog. They pointed out that this is not correct. It is “yin/yang”, they say. I agree. It is yin/yang. They are correct. However, my tattoo is called “ying/yang dolphins” based on what the “gentlemen” who were in attendance when I got the tattoo were not so wisely calling it. It’s somewhat of a sarcastic description of my tattoo. Thanks for the input. I was remiss in not detailing the reason for the name in the first place.

A fellow named Scott S. from upstate New York wants to know If I know that best approach to dealing with a bear when faced with one face-to-face. I know a lot, but be prepared to improvise – just in case. More and more often, wildlife will find it’s way into suburban areas, because of developmental sprawl. Bears can be some of that wildlife looking for food and territory within a populated human commnity. One can also run across a bear in the woods while having an outdoor adventure. Here’s some info. that might help. If you are in an area where bears are known to roam, where bells and talk outloud. The bears will hear you and most likely run in a different direction from the noise. That will help avoid a bear run-in in the first place. If you are out west, you are in Grizzly territory. A Black bear has a different temperment than a Grizzly. All bears will most likely run from loud activities. However, wounded, starving and orphaned bears do no play by those rules. Black bears are much more likely to scare than a Grizzly bear. In the east, black bears are predominent. Many times, it is possible to make ourself as big as you can by extending your arms and legs out and make enough of a loud, angry fuss to scare the bear away. Many times, the bear is after something you’ve got that smells good, so sitting quietly by or moving slowly away while a bear rifles through your stuff is also plausible. The one thing I know you should never do is let a bear “tree you.” DO NOT climb a tree. Bears can climb trees. Grizzlies can most certainly shake you right out of the tree. If you must hide, find rocks if you can. Grizzlies will actually harm prey that is not moving, so curling up and playing dead can be a very dangerous way to go. If you do not have any alternative, then yes, you should curl up with your head, neck and face as covered up as possible and your back should be facing up. If the bear paws and sniffs at you, do your very best not to panic and move around. Unless the bear is in a desperate circumstance, the bear will not waste a lot of time on you. Be sure to stay absolutely still until you are sure that no more bears are around (sometimes the cubs stay back and follow mom a minute or two later). Good luck on your four-month hike Scott. Keep your food sealed tight and hang it up high and away from your camp-site every night.

I’m off to clip about 60 little kitty claws, so have your Sunday music and peace – mia


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