Archives – August 2007

Gratification complication

Friday, August 24, 2007, 10:43:00 AM

I had some difficulty sleeping, so I decided to get to a subject I’ve been meaning to blog about for a few weeks. Technology is pretty much a part of the majority of Americans’ lives. I started on the first home MAC and from there, I’ve spent most of my time using and working on Microsoft platforms. As I’ve mentioned in a previous entry, I’m the one who people tend to seek out to help them with a technology or mechanical problem. It just happens that way because I seem to be good at problem solving those two specific things. However, Technology is such a “massive” word in the sense that it can mean many, many things.

Nowadays, most people in America are “trained” to expect a very quick fix, as in “instant gratification”. The first fundamental problem for me specifically, is that I take time to do things right the first time. I’m not always succesfull, but that’s always my aim. Technology is a multi-level situation and many people don’t understand that at all. Most people, or end-users, expect to push a button and expect something to happen the way they would like it to happen. If the button pushing doesn’t work, frustration starts to set-in. Once the frustration starts to set-in, end-users will do one of two things (for the most part); they will either curse technology, and/or the printer and/or the TECHIE and so on, or they will take out frustration on machinery by kicking and slamming doors and copy lids and/or throwing objects and getting in the face of the TECHIE. Most of the time, the TECHIE loses. That isn’t fun for the TECHIE now is it?

I completely understand that most problems with “technology” are entirely human operator error somewhere along the way. I also completely understand that most people don’t get that, so I expect frustration. Technology still frustrates me and I understand a lot about it, in general. However, in September of last year, I was an “Information and Technology Manager” for a multi-million dollar architect. When one has to deal with that kind of money, one might be tempted to be hard on those responsible for helping to keep money flowing, so to speak. I get that as well, so I tolerated a lot of cussing and throwing of things and slamming of mechanical parts. This was the first time that my title actually put me in charge of “technology” and now I know why I won’t do that again, unless my employer actually trusts the fact that I know more than he/she knows about certain things. I got phone calls from angry, pushy people all the time. I was expected to “roll-out” entirely new architectural software in less than a month with a single days notice. I had to try to chase around the long-time “network” independent contractor who lost sight of the end-user sometime in the mid-90’s, I’m guessing.  He was so focused on the server and the network that immediately runs back and forth through the server. Well, as far as I’m concerned, in today’s technology world, it shouldn’t take more than a week’s worth of your TECHIE’s time to add an update to each individual end-user unit (PC). That’s just silly. The contractor used to tell me that he could “push install” certain things, but major updates needed to be done on each individual hard drive seperately.

As far as certain things go, it’s a good idea for very small networks of no more than say, four computers and one printing device. However, for a 22 computer, three printer, one fax, 7 phone line and a gigantic plotter type of network we were working with; there are much more effective ways to share information among those ojects that are just as safe, secure and fairly uncomplicated. I spent a lot of time checking “levels” which takes a good bit of time. Anyway, in September of last year, my medical problems really started to get difficult to work with and that was about the time, I decided to start another job search. I had some interviews, but not offer as yet when I got a phone call from the architect. I put in my four-week notice that same day. What lead to that is a long story, but in the end, it was simply because I just plain got tired of almost everyone pissing on technology and the TECHIE, simply because they didn’t understand what was actually going on with either.

At the time, Google had just bought Sketch-up, which is useful software for architects and drafters. I purchased what I thought was a network liscence, because all information online indicated that I was purchasing a network lisence. However, it came to light very soon that the software wasn’t functioning like a “network” program should. I actually found a way around the “network” part and used my “cheat” to get more than one user up and working with the software. Eventually, I figured out that the Google techs still weren’t familiar with Sketch-up and I was told some very interesting things by some people at Google. On the exact same day that I figured out that the buying interface at the Google run Sketch-up ordering site needed to be changed, because Google’s Sketch-up didn’t actually offer “network” liscences, so I had to buy them individually, I left a message for VP in charge Google’s software division to alert him of the problem. No more than 20 minutes later, the architect made that fateful call to me on speaker phone right in the middle of the office, which is wide open. As soon as I answered the phone he started cussing and screaming because he had a deadline and I was fucking it all up for him because I’m stupid and I bought the wrong software and he’s tired of all the idiots and so on and so forth. I was on my way into the office to take care of the problem at the time, so I tried to remain calm and I told him that a high-level Google employee has ben alerted to the issue and I was coming in to purchase more individual licenses and then I hung up the phone.

The first thing I did when I walked into the office was type out a brief letter of resignation and then I spoke with the Google VP who had already sent word to have the website changed and took steps to find out why network lisences were not available. Of course, I did try to get a free lisence or two for all of “our” troubles, but he claimed he had no way to do that for “us”. I knew I could make some money as an independent contractor, so even though I didn’t have the security of another job lined-up, I felt confident about resigning from that position. Cussing and screaming and throwing things is expected in some circumstances, but I don’t tolerate complete “technology” dummies cussing and screaming at me, on speaker phone, in front of the entire office. My employer tended to “make-up” deadlines on the fly and most of those deadlines didn’t include thought about “technology”, so the “Techie” gets stuck with end-users pushing buttons and choosing things they don’t completely understand and problems with a network that was built some ten years ago and not maintained properly. Put a short-sighted deadline in the mix and life gets “interesting” for the TECHIE.

People can scream and yell at me every-so-often and I can easily take a face full of crap (figuratively speaking) if I’m the one who made the mistake and caused a problem that I had trouble fixing or something. I can take constructive criticism and I can take a bunch of crap for various reasons, but I won’t continue to take shit for things that other people just plain don’t understand, nor are they willing to trust me to take care of it. Hence, I resigned my position. My main point is that too many people put their “faith” in technology they don’t understand and on top of that, they then expect “miracles” from the TECHIE. The idea of “instant gratification” has been forced into American society very successfully and the thought is widely pervasive, so when the “technology” becomes an issue, people get frustrated and IMPATIENT. Once that happens, the TECHIE becomes the “messanger” who ends up getting “shot”. I don’t need that crap, so I don’t work for short-sighted, extremely impatient people anymore.

I feel better this morning, even though I was up for most of the night, so I’m actually going to venture out and run some errands before I start actually being able to sing entire songs in reverse! peace-mia

No Garlic – How am I supposed to ward off the vampires?

Friday, August 24, 2007, 12:50:00 AM

A new blog format is on it’s way and this particular blog will be a little different every week until the “transformation” is complete. My entries won’t change. I have been working on the archives from 2002 to present. The archives from a different blogger won’t transfer here without HTML in the blog entries, so I have to go through all of those archives (2002 – 2004) manually and remove the code. That’s actually helpful, because going back through the archives has been a learning experience so far. I could have avoided the translation problem if I’d saved the 2002 -2004 archives differently. Oh well. I know now.

My temperature is above 101 degrees F today, so I already know that I’ll be stuck inside for most, if not all of the day. I also think I might be passing a kidney stone. I’ve passed kidney stones before, so I’ll have to keep track of certain things today and decide how to proceed tomorrow. Speaking of kidney stones; here’s a situation where being a female is a blessing. Males have a much thinner space for kidney stones to exit the body through urinating. I’ve been told it’s excrutiating for men. It isn’t great fun for females, but at least we can pass stones much easier and there is much less chance of blockage.

In the beginning of May I started going through the process to start First Love Animal Services as a non-profit organization. After more consideration and after the occurance of certain events, I’ve now decided to not go the non-profit route. In the end, it’s too much paperwork. Instead, I’m an Executive Director/CEO that doesn’t have an income generated from my own business. While it may seem odd to start a for-profit business and not actually profit from it, but at the end of the day – I can get more done, faster this way. At the moment, I only have volunteers working for me here and there at the moment. I also have to consider the possibility that I need to find someone I can trust to take over in the case of my untimely demise. Anyway, so far I’ve got the logo squared away, business cards, stationary and invoices for personal pet behavioral consults set-up. I did all the creative, production and administrative work involved with all of that. Most of the income will be drawn from educational programs and private consultation and most of the profit will go right to the animals.

I think I’m starting to get a little case of “cabin fever”. I have a lot of home improvement and “green” work to do at home and I feel bad enough, enough of the time, that even a trip to the store can wipe me out. I was working on the First Love website this morning. The site is not currently “up” and what you see now is a basic template that includes major details. I’ve been developing the site myself. It’ll be a little while before the site is ready for upload, but pictures of Emma, the cat up for adoption, will be available soon and certain other information and links will be be available before the website is ready for public view. I think the combination of all the “techno-stuff” I was working on today and being inside for so long made me a little “whacky”. I started trying to sing a song entirely in reverse. I actually spent a good bit of time trying to work that out this afternoon. Hmmm – I suppose I should really try to get out a bit more often.

I’ve been craving tacos and salsa, and meatsause/w meatballs over hot, steamy pasta. I can’t have any of that. TV commercials just aren’t fair. Almost every commercial advertising some sort of edible goodness, features something I can’t eat. No acidic foods, at all. No tomato products, other than fresh tomato, no BBQ sauses, no pepper products, no soda, no caffine, no adding sugar or salt, no alcohol, no chicken, no grapefuit, oranges, or peaches, no pineapple, no rasberries, or grapes, uh, let’s see, no salad dressing other than no-fat cheese based varieties, no olives, no Feta cheese, no juice, no ice-cream, no ice-milk, no steak, no potatoes, no roast beef (hot or cold), no onions, no garlic and much more I can’t think of at the moment. I can have low-carb, sugar-free, vanilla flavored yogurt though! I can drink low-fat yogurt smoothies. I’m about ready to start gnawing on cardboard. Well, no, but I want to fire-up the grill and toss all sorts of yummies on there, covered with various spices or sauces. I try very hard to just enjoy all of the things I can eat, but since I’ve been house-bound recently, certain things I miss more than others. I like food, so this is a difficult adjustment. My GERD has caused enough damage so that anything acidid hurts when I try to eat or drink it. My blood pressure requires me to really pay attention to my salt intake. Anyway, thoughts of a nice big taco salad and a hot plate with lasagna and garlic bread with lemon pepper grean beans keep hovering at the front of my mind. Stupid TV.

I wouldn’t want to forget my good buddy Michael Vick, well obviously I’m unhappy about his activities with dogs. Let me restrain my normal rant-style typing-frenzy and simply say that the man didn’t do it for money, he simply liked to watch animals die. Which NFL team is going to back someone who likes to watch animals die? We’ll see –

I discovered some ants today. They brought their friends and family over for a picnic. “I have ants Jerry, ANTS!”

I had many things I wanted to include in this entry, but I’ll have to save them for another day – peace – mia

I refuse to accept that this void is null

Sunday, August 19, 2007, 12:59:00 AM

…make the bed in which you lie and find your comfortable skin – go to the place where you lose AND win. Shoot for the Universe within…

I blog about my thoughts on hockey for several reasons, but to be honest, I do it mostly to send out a minor “internet” cry for some hockey action around my parts. I feel like I live in some weird “hockey black-hole”. At this point I need to draw your attention to the fact that I’m not being sarcastic and I literally mean what I’m typing about hockey at the moment. The only time I ever hear about hockey in the local news broadcasts out of Baltimore/Annapolis is when the Capitals make the playoffs. Otherwise, I can’t watch local sports shows. I can watch ESPN, Versus, and other channels. With the NHL Center Ice package, I can watch almost every game played in an entire NHL season. If I try to talk to almost anyone I know about hockey; it’s like I’m talking directly to a brick wall. I might as well be talking to myself.

Here is the order of sports fandom in Harford and Baltimore Counties, MD:  Raven’s Football, Orioles Baseball, Washington Redskins, Nascar, Horse Racing, College Lacrosse, DC United Soccer and somewhere around here the HNL sits, probably below the NBA (at least in Harford County). I am not unrealistic to the fact that it’s hard for certain market earnings to justify pushing hockey if it’s way down near the bottom of the priority list of people in certain geographical areas. I get that and I accept it to a certain point.

As some readers may have noticed, I don’t “tag” things while blogging very often. Someone has been helping me on and off with certain things and suggested that I “tag”my blog entries more often if I really want more people to be hockey fans or if I want fans in my area to speak-up and join the “Mia Hockey Rally”, as he calls it. I suppose I can’t argue with that logic. It is important for me to “voice” the fact that I have been unable to see all the Washington Capitals on TV for most of the last 5 years. Aside from the lockout year, certain difficulties that are directly related to my favorite cable company, have caused me, as a “religious” hockey fan to go through an awful lot of crap just to see games on TV. I can go to the games, and I have, but I was tricked quite nicely when the “On Demand” feature appeared via cable TV. IN CERTAIN MARKETS, one could watch the Washington Capitals games by choosing the game through the On Demand features supported by the cable company. I’ve tagged this entry according to my main points.

Well, I didn’t live in the APPROPRIATE MARKET area and I still don’t. Just because of the way life goes sometimes, I moved even further from Washington DC. Does this mean that it’s my responsibility as a hockey fan to move closer to my team so I can watch ALL of the games on TV where I already live? Isn’t that what the NHL Center Ice package is for if I’m too FAR AWAY FROM THE LOCAL MARKET AREA? I can still go to the games, and I will when I can make the trip. At this point, in order for me to get to DC and get dinner and get situated in my seat before the puck drops, watch the entire game, and get back to my homestead; it’s a 7 hour day-trip. I don’t mind it at all, but I’m sensitive to being unable to get to all the games in this case because of my health. So if I cannot get to the game, I would like to listen to Joe and Craig and watch the game in my living room like other Washington Capitals hockey fans.

It is entirely possible that things have already changed, but even so, it isn’t just the game situation, it’s the hockey thing in general. We don’t have any good College hockey (Sorry Towson U – it’s not your fault nobody cares – maybe one day!). There are a few high-school hockey teams that have promising players. One goalie that I know of right off-hand is (crap, I’ve lost his first name) Fritzsche. His dad, Robert and I worked together at Peter Fillat Architects. I’ve been lucky enough to find people along the way who like hockey and will talk about it every-so-often. Rob Fritzsche and I talked hockey quite often. He was even kind enough to share free tickets to a Washington Capitals game with me. I met his son at that game, but I am totally just drawing a blank as to his first name. Anyway, it’s only the private schools that offer ice hockey on the High School level in Harford County. We do have “ice” here in the form of Ice World, off of Route 7 (Philadelphia Road). I go there to get my blades maintained. I have taken lessons with a private instructor there as well. I went to a certain public skate session for a little bit as well. It’s a pretty nice facility.

I did the same at Mt. Pleasant and Northwest as well. Mt. Pleasant needs some money as far as I’m concerned, but they do support hockey for all ages and genders at Mt. Pleasant. I can’t say the same for Northwest. Ice World supports almost anything ice related, so at least I am close enough to ice for recreation. There are many elementary and middle schools very close to Ice World. Perhaps a few structured hockey programs in a few schools might just be a “new” outlet for some of those kids?

I know about red-tape and all that BS that must accompany certain decisions, so I don’t want to be totally unreasonable and “bully” people over the “Great Hockey Void” in which I live as far as the TV rights and broadcasting of the Washington Capitals games is concerned, because I figured out that part for myself. I’m not the only one to mention this issue and I won’t be the last either. I will “push” a little to get a “door” opened in the “Great Hockey Void”. I know of four already exisiting buildings in Harford County alone that are the perfect place to put an ice rink. At the moment, I have no access to the funds needed to purchase and convert any of the locations on my own. I also need to be aware of my health at all times, so I’m feeling as though I shouldn’t be out leading a “charge” for more hockey in the GHV (Great Hockey Void) right now. Maybe next year.

I’m a frustrated Washington Capitals fan, but I’m a fan nonetheless. I get pissed off at some of the things I see and learn, but I also get excited and encouraged and inspired. I sometimes type things about certain players or decisions having to do with the team on and off the ice. Since I usually see the game from a goalies prespective, I give the defense a “hard-time” when I blog here because I can see exactly where the “D” didn’t hold up and it’s been left up to Olie. Rebounds happen, no matter which goalie plays in the NHL. That’s the way of the game. Rebounds can be controlled or avoided sometimes, but when all the “chips are down” and the puck just needs to stay away from the net, a rebound might happen. So, from my perspective, the D needs to do certain things to keep the goalie “stable”. I keep seeing the same D problems, year after year, and since I tend to be “seeing” the game from Kolzig’s (and back-ups, Johnson, Billington and so on) prespective, the defense frustrated me. I’m not sure why certain individuals out in the world have “voiced” to me that I am a “bad” fan. Some have stated that I type things on this blog that “undermine” other fans.

I guess I’ve been told that enough times at this point to mention something in this entry that I was not really interested in putting “out here” on the internet. But, It helps me make my point, so here it is. Once I’m finished, it might make more sense why I’m so “vocally” critical of the Washington Capitals. Most often, I “pick-on” the defense. I could probably go into more depth about the offense as well, but I can’t relate as much and my decisions or thoughts on Offense are not as clear and focused as they are on Defense. Others are much more apt at such things. I know a lot about defese and mostly from the goalie’s perspective. “Do you think Kolzig never makes mistakes?”, someone asked me last year. My answer is exactly the same as it was then. Every goalie makes mistakes. Every single last one of them, no matter what. That’s just a plain fact and all of them will tell you that. However, good goalies learn from mistakes. Good goalies have excellent focus. Good goalies have good teams. So, great NHL-style goalies have what the good goalies have, plus something else. In my mind, from there, each individual goalie has a different “something else”.

I’ll just try to brief and wrap it all up with some final thoughts. No one who actually knows me couldn’t tell you who my favorite team was if asked. If I could buy NHL underwear for women, I would. Or can I? Maybe I haven’t checked around enough? I refer to the Capitals as “mine” all the time. I was feeling pretty beaten-up and tired last October and November (you can go back and read all about it – look to the left of the screen), while I was looking for a new job. At one point, I was checking Washington’s web site for something and was reminded of Ted Leonsis, the majority owner of the Washington Capitals. He is very good at answering e-mails from fans. I have e-mailed him a few times here and there. He’s replied several times. I’m sure I mentioned that I feel Baltimore Metropolitan area fans tend to get left out in the cold, more than once in my e-mails to Ted Leonsis.

I bring up Ted Leonsis, because while I was looking for work, the NHL hockey season had started and I began to wonder how someone like me, out here in the “Great Hockey Void”, who is also a female and looks like she’s some wide-eyed 25 year on the outside, get her name on the Stanley Cup? Well, pretty much, the only thing I can do is work for the organization. I’m not entirely sure I’m clear as to what names other than the players’ and coaches’ names get engraved in the Cup. I’m sure that information is out there, but at the time the only thing I could think to do, just on the spur of the moment, was to fix up my resume and send it to Ted Leonsis. I didn’t do that because I had “balls” or felt entitled, I did it because I felt as though I had nothing to lose. The worst that could happen is that Ted could get a bit of a chuckle.

If he did end up looking at the resume, I did send factual information. If not, that’s okay too. I had numerous situations arise and even though I did return an e-mail to him telling him I would mail my resume so he could see the hard copy, I never did. I had planned to find out if there might be a way to drop-off the resume “messenger” style, but all kinds of shit hit the fan all at once. I couldn’t have been any help to anyone after a certain point. However, my main point is that I’m such a dedicated Washington Capitals fan that I sent my resume to Ted Leonsis AND because I take the game of hockey in general to heart. I don’t really need anyone else’s approval or understanding of that at all, but just in case I happen to “meet my maker” sometime soon – at least now I know it’s out there on the World Wide Web.

I’ve had to “go against the grain” for most of my life to be a hockey fan, since I’ve mostly lived within the “Great Hockey Void” and when you toss the female thing in the mix, it gets just that much harder. Well, I have a right to dream, just like everyone else. I’m not upset or bothered by the fact that I can’t play NHL hockey or any hockey at the moment. If I recover properly, I’ll probably try to play again to get exercise and just to play for fun. I watch it like actually I’m “in” the game, so I’m good just being a fan. I “voice” my frustrations on this blog because this is a venue created for just such a thing. Plus, it’s possible that I’m just very tired of being in the “Great Hockey Void” and I have responsbilities that are temporarily keeping me in the “Great Hockey Void”. Mostly it’s just me being frustrated. HOCKEY ROCKS! GO CAPS!

I will need to break here and, as a bull-headed Latvian youngster I know might say, “I must pee.” -peace – mia

I’m an Assho-ee-yo-ee-oohle!

Thursday, August 16, 2007, 4:43:00 PM

So, yeah, no installer came and I spent over an hour and called several interesting numbers trying to get some sort of information that was actually useful in determining what happened to my installer. I have nothing useful at all, so now I get to play the “well then give me a refund” game. I got pissed after the first hour, so I decided to hang it up for the night. I tried again the next day, but got the same result, so now I just want my money back. Okay, so now I need an installer – or I’ll just use the box as a table for a while.

All sorts of things are going on in my world. It was no surprise that my family was settled between my mom and her lawyers a certain way. I always maintain hope, so I was disappointed notheless. Regardless, she’ll be just fine and I only live about four minutes away, so at least something has moved forward. I have to make some money, so I’m headed in that direction, slowly. Thank you COBRA!

Emma and I have been hanging out by ourselves recently so that she can get used to be the only cat around. She is much more comfortable as a single cat. However, when she was found, she had two kittens in good condition and she did an amazing job as a momma cat, so perhaps the introduction of a kitten would be a great fit for Emma. I don’t think I’ve run across a cleaner cat. I think she’d be a good teacher for a kitten. She’s nestled underneath my chair having a snooze right now.

It’s going to get deep for a while, so hold onto your sticks – I checked back in this blog for some reason and discovered that I wanted to pick-up a subject I mentioned previously. It all ties into something Leif said to me last night. As hesitant as I am to actually admit this, he said “you’ve got some evil things in you and it’s scarey.” On certain levels, he’s actually correct. BUT, those things aren’t really “in” me, they are “on” me. I’m VERY animated, which is disorienting for certain people. I’m sure it even pisses some people off. From about October 1973 to today, I’ve been exposed to some very angry people. That happens to people all the time. Some people will react to it in various ways. I picked-up habits from my family that aren’t so great. Those habits are mostly emotional habits. My animated ways are fine with me, but they often take people completely by surprise. For the longest time, I couldn’t really figure out the reason why I’m so “like that” and I think the best way I can explain it in this format is to simply state that I learned how to “not piss off the angry people” by acting.

I’ve really never kept the fact that my brother was an alcoholic with drug problems a secret. It’s not that most people who know that family don’t know it either. He died on August 2, 1999. As sad as it might be for some peope to imagine, I knew he would go sooner, rather than later. He pushed it too hard, too fast. I love the guy and I think about him from time to time. If he’s out there, he knows I’m sending my best “spankbankberdank” at him. He couldn’t see his potential, but I know I’m a certain kind of person because of him. We did fight like cats and dogs, as some might say. He was a physically strong person and when all hell reigned down onto the Lueth family house, he was the first person I learned to physically fight. I know some people will probably gasp as the idea, but boys fight with each other and I managed, so in this case, I’m okay with it, so the “gaspers” out there should be as well. He’d get pushy and shovey and I didn’t like it, so one day – I pushed back. It was on from there. I don’t like to fight. Or rather I’ll say I wouldn’t want to fight for a living. I mean, let’s face it, I am a female and in that respect, I like my face enough and my brain enough to keep it away from intentional beatings. A lot of people have the picture of the brother coming to the rescue of the sister, but in my case it was the other way around, more often than not. But, if you look at as though we were family and we were “bros” because we competed and we pushed each other around and we gave each other shit, then you can see that I was physically and mental able to stand-up for my brother when he got himself into some kind of shit, so I did. Why? Because that’s what family does for each other.

Maybe it is because I am a female, I figured out very early on, that physical altercations can get way out of had and use up entirely more energy than it’s worth a thousand times over, so it’s best to make your best attempt at avoiding it or controlling it. Well, after a while, I learned that if you just keep standing-up and you don’t back down in certain circumstances, you can avoid it. Then I learned that in order to control it, you have to be sure you can control yourself first. From there I learned many, many more things and I am still learning them as I type. At this point, I can be very scarey and if I have to “bark”, it will be loud and if I have to “bite”, it will hurt. There is a perceived problem with that because I am a female AND I’m short AND I have a very young looking face AND as much as I can be “scarey”, I can also almost like a little kid. Hence, it seems I’m “surprising”. I will break off here and mention the fact that I believe in the idea of family and I love my family no matter what. I can’t say I’ve turned out like any of them, but that happens in families all the time too. I can say that I have a perfect mix of my dad’s handwriting and my mother’s handwriting. Basically what that means is – my handwriting can be seen from someone other than me as totally fucked up.

Anyway, if I have to be “scarey” to avoid fighting, I will, but it doesn’t mean I “have evil” things in me. It’s a defense mechanism. Well, I just outed myself there didn’t I? I suppose so…I’m such a total sap sometimes it might just make some people sick. I love things with all of my heart and that’s just what I do. But, I can protect myself and others as well. Over the years, I learned to “hold-back” and sometimes I didn’t do that very well. At this point, unless I’m involved in a little “love-tapping” as my brother would say, I don’t want to start swinging unless I’m sure my life, or someone else’s is immediately at stake. And I don’t. Meaning that sometimes, I just have to take it. I’m okay with that too. I like closure and it bothers when I don’t get it. I like having jobs that don’t mean I have to show up at a desk under a flouresent light, staring at a machine or such things like that. I’ve worked in offices and I can, but it’s not something I want to do five days a week, all the time. There are a lot of things about me, that a lot of people don’t consider when they look at me, so they think “I” took them by surprise. No, not really, well, at least not if you just read this…

So, no, I’m not evil and I’m just Mia walking around “bumping” into things and trying to figure them out. I make mistakes like everybody else. I have strange habits, like everybody else and I can be a tough-ass, ballbuster when pushed. Mostly though, as far as Leif is concerned, I’m scared to death for him. So in that respect, I’m pushing hard in one direction – STOP DRINKING DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!” That makes me “evil” in his eyes and so that just what I will “be” to him. We were seeing each other and are still very good friends (and yes, that means we still hug and sometimes give each other little kisses and it means he sleeps in my gigantic bed (I didn’t know how big a California King was until after my little self was actually in it), because no body I know is going to drink the way he does and even WALK NEXT DOOR to go home. Too many alcoholics have passed through my life for be nothing but a millitant, ballbusting, pain in the ass about it. And why would care about that – because I think he’s driving the express train at top-speed to Leaving Las Vagasville. Unfortunately, my best guess is that he thinks he’s on the slow-train to hell. He can stop both from happening if he just stops drinking. I’ve seen all the actual blood and teeth and hair and gore I need to see to not want that for anybody. In this case I have the chance to “stand-up” and let him think I am “evil” if it means that he finally actually “HEARS” me say – the drinking is the creator of most of his problems. So, I’m that kind of Asshole.

I prefer to be level, but it doesn’t always happen and he’s very, very sensitive so he takes it to heart and I get that. He thinks I’m trying to be hurtful and I think I’m trying to get him to stop drinking. So it’s a bit of a difficult situation. I have my own health and my mother to consider and I need to do some of my own things, so I can’t smack him in the head with a heavy-blunt object and drag his heavy ass to a dry-out place by myself. I would if I could though. It’s just that important.

As for being a hard-ass or “softy” in other aspects, I’ll have to take a break before my eyes cross and magically I have just received a phone call from the installer, Eric, I think he said, who is currently on his way, but is stuck in traffic on I-95.

I’m sure I’ll be back soon and I’m giving an “all digits up” to the Daily Show and The Colbert Report. ROCK! Gave you ever played a banjo in an enclosed bathtub? peace – mia

Ain’t you never heard of a Cyote before?

Monday, August 13, 2007, 4:13:00 PM

…waiting for the paint to dry, leaves time to gaze up, on the sky. The ticking clock’s a small reminder, of life’s best, but now behind her. There’s one part that’s always missing, but what she misses the most is the kissing…

I finally have my own snuggly little bed to sleep in now. This weekend I had to give-up a trip to the Eastern Shore, but many things were accomplished at my newsed little home. Today the appliances arrived and are being installed and I spent the morning cleaning something that I can only described as just plain gross. Some of it got in my hair, so I’m eager to get the installation done so I can get some of the “nasty” out of my hair. This is what I get for having long hair. I usually keep it up and out of my face so I can properly see what I am doing. This morning I let it all down and now I have some combination of yuck-stink in my hair. Nice.

Emma goes for her Cardio appointment tomorrow and I’m hoping she is as fit as a cat can be so that she can go to a home where she’ll be the star. I have photos of Emma that I will put on this blog, but I am also in the process of working on getting the First Love website up and running. All information will be available before the hockey season starts. Emma does some very endearing things and I will miss her when she finds her forever home.

I have been feeling very good, all things considered. I had a gigantic sleep-fest yesterday (Sunday). I didn’t get started until around 4pm. I have also started re-reading a few of the Robert Jordan books in the Wheel of Time series. I wonder if Robert Jordan ever sleeps? I blitzed through the first three very quickly. I even took a couple of days off work to finish the Third book. I slowed down on the Fourth book, but did eventually finish. It took me almost a year, but I also finished the Fifth book. I don’t want to move to the Sixth book until I’ve re-read the Fourth and Fifth book again. I think the series consists of 11 books. Although, I think a follow-up book or something like that has also been written. If one really wants to appreciate the value of being patient, then read the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. It’s Scifi/fantasy, so be prepared to learn new terminology. I’ll get there. I’m being sent a copy of the last Harry Potter book, so that’ll be read after book four and before book five of the Wheel of Time. I have two Dan Brown books I need to re-read. That’ll happen between books five and six, and between books six and seven. That should keep me busy or the next several years!

I read things all the time. Cereal boxes, magazines, bathroom walls, internet blogs and news,  and bumper stickers are all there for the readin’. Reading is very important to me in many ways. I wonder how people who can’t read manage to get through life? I’ve heard stories of people going a large portion of their lives without the ability to read. I’m not sure I’d want to try to pull that off. However, under certain circumstances, I can see where it might just be easier to pretend.  

I have not linked a lot in this blog. I used to link things all the time, in previous incarnations of this blog. I thought about it recently and I think I like it better this way. I don’t like advertisements all over my blog and here I have none. The only thing I advertise are my thoughts and feelings, mainly about silly things, hockey, music and whatever is up my butt at the time I begin to blog. I can’t use a conventional spell-checker on this blog before I publish, because I have dyslexia and the spell-checker usually just confuses the issue. I haven’t had this much difficutly with my dyslexia as far as my typing is concerned prior to last year, so I will have to go and find out if the Lyme or Lyme side-affects have triggered something. My biggest problem has always been with numbers. Hence the reason all my mathematics and physics teachers got so frustrated with me. Well, I didn’t know I was reversing numbers, so we all just proceeded in frustration with one another. I can grasp a complex mathematical/physically concept without any problem, but I simply can’t do all the mathematical formulation without reversing something. One numerical error in any formula renders the entire formula in error.

It’s odd that I can type and understand HTML and other languages without as much reversal. Not much at all actually. I also don’t reverse images. Although, sometimes it is better to learn something from the reverse angle, so I can do that, just not “by accident.” I have found that my reflexes are faster than “normal” because of my dyslexia, so I’m quick when I need to be. I make many numerous mistakes while I’m typing here and sometimes I go back and check out what I wrote and it almost makes me wince. Almost everyone I know or have known have tried to steer me toward video games. I played arcade games and still have a love for Galaga, but I find that going out and doing real things is much more stimulating for me. Some of my friends think I’m a “word” perfectionist, so they assume I will be a “video game” perfectionist. I’m not quite sure I follow that logic, but I have played video games. I used to play Contra all the time. I Played a Dungeons and Dragons game last year. I like to play the games where you get a weapon and you can run around whacking at your enemies and busting things down. I played a really long video game last year (I think) and right now I’m drawing a blank as to the name, but it had many, many levels. I kept having to go back to the first, second and third levels to get more health and other goodies to get through the ghost-zombie, mummy chamber. YIKES! Typically, I don’t play video games regularly.

The archives, that include previous incarnations of this blog are all gathered together. There is a bit of a translation problem and I haven’t had time to look into it as yet. I will have the archives from around 2003 (maybe 2002) to the present available here before December 30, 2007. Everything that has been placed on this blog, by me, and is uploaded for public view is copyright free. I do not copyright anything other than my own music. I do have music that you will have free access to before November 15, 2007. I have a lot of music, but I have had to put that aside for a brief stretch in order to be sure I’ve completed some other tasks first.

I don’t go out of my way to advertise this blog other places, for the most part. I use bad language and I prefer to remain – low key – in some senses, so I don’t allow certain types of links. I also do not link others here. There is a fundamental technological issue with “links” that I haven’t discovered how to avoid. Anyway, I WILL link others here if there is a request. I just have not had any requests I felt compelled to grant for one reason or another. Once the archived, previous incarnations of this blog are uploaded, you will see many more links if you read the archives. I do sometimes mention certain key words in my blog on purpose to see what the SPAMMERS will do with those words – silly spammers, that’s how you get found.

I’m hanging out, waiting for the installation crew to arrive. I also decided to go and remove some of the stinky-yuck that got in my hair. I’d love to type about my family situation here, trust me, but it is not a good idea and I just want things settled. I can say that I am the only child left alive and my father died in 2005. That leaves just my mom and me. My dad was a full-blooded German who survived WWII and the Korean War. He was a diabetic alcoholic. You put all that in a bottle and shake it up and you end up with one angry mother fucker. My mother fell and broke her hip on January 11, 2007. Since then, the chaos train has been running full-speed ahead. I can’t say much more than that.

Not being physically active is the hardest part for me. Prior to attending Towson University and even during the first year, I had energy and I was active and I played some kind of sport. After my first year until now, I have been pushing myself harder and harder, because I did not know why I would gain weight so quickly for seemingly no reason. I didn’t know why I would get “situational vertigo” every so often. I’m sure smacking my head around didn’t help that either. I didn’t know why I got so tired, so quickly. No one else did either. Trainers and people I took lessons from and people I used to be active where all trying to push me too. But, now, I know exactly what to do and how to deal with it. Stupid Lyme disease. If I make it beyond this stage, I’ll be plowed full of anti-biotics for a very long time. The upside of that is simply that I will get my life back! YAY!!!!!!!!!! I think I really will play my music while ice-skating.

Speaking of that, I have also come to the ultimate conclusion that I will not skate in skates with toe-picks. Nope – that’s not for me. The only thing I really remember about the movie “Cutting Edge” with Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeney is the fact that he kept messing-up and she kept saying “toe-pick” in a girlie, smart-ass kind of a way. Yup – that damn to pick’ll kill me. I took some skating lessons at Mt. Pleasant Ice Arena (also where there is Golf) a while back. I had just found a pair of skates that not only protected my feet, but felt like I was walking on air, so I wanted to put them to good use. I started out with an intermediate group. It turns out that I pretty much had to get private lessons after that, because everyone else, anywhere I went, only wants to learn to skate in figure skates, so I had to venture out on my own. Hey man, two blades are better than one. Not that Nike is known for its ice skates, but they hooked me up with a fantastic pair of skates, so GO NIKE!! Stupid toe-pick.

My friend Brad moved to Washington DC this weekend, while I was working on fixing up my place to sleep. I hope all went well for him. I think I’ll make him go with me to get my tattoo fixed. I have only one tattoo on my body and that is all I will ever have. I thought about it for ten years before I did it, especially considering it was going right in the center of my chest. I’m a little excited to get it fixed.

The “We’ll be there between 2 and 6pm” waiting game is making me sleepy. I think I’ll go read for a while. Sing outloud in the shower, even if someone is listening – peace – mia

Wayne Gretzky in the Nickleback Video “Rockstar”

Saturday, August 11, 2007, 12:59:00 AM

There was a bit of a storm that came across MD yesterday. I was a bit concerned about my “newsed” little home – just a little water damage, but the damaged parts are set to be replaced. It’s important to me to be the “general contractor” because I will be attempting to “GREEN” the home over the next year. There are so many things people can easily change in a normal Americal household to reduce energy use and remail very comfortable. The plan for this property is underway. I need to stay physically active and I have a pretty clear vision in my own head, so it makes sense that I be involved from start to finish.

It’s 2am and thanks to VSPOT and the Cyotes, I’m on a Nickleback ride. I go through times when I can’t sleep properly. By that I mean, I’d have to take narcotics to even think about sleeping. I do have a narcotic prescribed specifically for that purpose, but it just makes me silly for a while and then I do fall asleep and wake up feeling like I was out partying on a three day bender. I have things that must be done tomorrow, so no silly pills for me.

Hopefully, I can find a good tattoo artist soon so I can get my tattoo fixed. The original idea in my head, ended up being done very poorly. I couldn’t do much about it at the time it happened. I’ll put it to you this way, I went to the wrong tattoo place on Rt. 7. This fine story concludes with me having my short off, since the tat is in the center of my chest. Eventually, a bunch of dudes just appeared to watch. Okay – no problem. However, a problem did arise when a large fella hot of the streets from the hood stood over me and said, “do you get nice?” There are just times in your life when you know that you’re not in Kansas anymore. I knew. I think I probably even clicked my heals together three times and thought “there’s no place like home.” I couldn’t do much while I was laid out getting needled really close to a vital organ. The big guy, kept telling all the other guys that I was his new “Boo.” Oh shit – now that was a problem. I wasn’t even sure what a “Boo” was then, but whatever it was, I surely wasn’t his “Boo.” I played along and ended up puking on my passenger side floor – while still driving. Somehow,  a narcotic was introduced into my system and if I hadn’t puked right then and there, I would have crashed my car into something. So, I now get the fact that I should participate in the buddy-buddy system when I do get my tattoo fixed.

A bunch of dudes staring at my chest doesn’t other me, but when they ALL have the exact same thing on their minds at one time and I have a potential weapon pointed at my heart, it just doesn’t seem fair now does it? Anyway, it’s all pretty funny to me now, but I’m still stuck with bad art right in the center of my chest. The tattoo is of two, what I call, “Ying/Yang Dolphins” and one was supposed to be a darker and the other a lighter shade of blue. They look almost the same color. That’s on my priority list.

Maybe I’ll try to sleep now by counting sheep, with skates, on ice, playing guitar. I think if I do recover properly, I’m actually going to play my guitar while skating. Sure what the fuck. -peace-mia

So much for dyslexic programming for the dyslexic and that’s R-I-P-K-E-N as in Cal Ripken

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 7:50:00 PM

I happened to notice when I was reading through some of the information about this blogger’s premium services. I blog at Blog-City for a variety of reasons and find that it works for me. I ran my ass-backwards program and did not happen to notice that several words just don’t make sense and that Cal Ripken is spelled with an “I” and not an “E”. Yes, it is okay to laugh and point at me if ya feel like it. I will have to find a different way to approach the problem. Yup – that was a major screw-up. I know what I did to change the program, but completely forgot to go back and change two other things, so certain things just didn’t get filtered and I did not know they had been changed. Like I mentioned in an earlier entry, I give great kudos to those who have to program for a living. Maybe they even like it! Not for me. Maybe I should budget for a programmer. That’s a good idea. As my mother might say, “Shit on it.” Now that’s an interesting solution to almost anything.

I’ll have to reduce my blog time for the next week or so, I’ll be working on my new (okay – newsed) property. Have you ever tried humming your national anthem or song upside down? peace- mia

Anyone like cats?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 2:05:00 PM

…when one too many have slipped right by, and all you can do is wonder why – there’s a reason for that, so let it go, there is absolutley no other way to grow…

Holy Sweaty Parts Batman – it’s hot around these parts right now! I’ve decided to hang out at the hotel for another night. After I went to the doctor yesterday, it became very clear that I have a blood-pressure problem. I was hoping that wouldn’t be an issue, but it has turned out to be the case anyway. High and low blood-pressures seem to be the cause of my problem with thermoregulation. I suspected as much, but there was also the possibility that it was neurological. Maybe that is true too.

I started this blog around 7am, but am now finishing it later in the day. One of my cat’s, Emma, is now spending some solo time at the hotel. I am in a hospital at the moment. I think the heat in this region is a little too much for me. I tried to go swimming a little while ago. The first thing I remember was going under water and feeling relief from the heat. The next thing I remember, there was an EMT asking me questions. It turns out that the people in the pool saw me floating strangely and called 911. I had my face up in the pool, so it could have been worse. I don’t like swimming by myself for just this reason. I will have to go find the “pool people” and thank them for helping me out of my previous situation.

I feel okay and I don’t mind sitting around here for the day. I’ll miss two appointments, but I can do one by phone and the other doesn’t even need to happen, since I mailed a signed agreement yesterday. My other kitties and animals are in good hands. Yup, I’ll just lie here and hope that bad news leaves me alone today.

I have some DVDs with me now, so I can watch some movies or cath-up on some shows. I’m still working on “Rescue Me”, so – shhhhhhhhhh. Some of the movies I’ve seen recently and can recommend for movie lovers are: 16 Blocks, The Nugget, Chumscrubber, Mr. Brooks, A Partial Fall from Grace (English subitles), A Guide to Recognizing your Saints, The Reaping, Apocolypto, The Pursuit of Happyness and Unbreakable. Some of these movies are not recent and some might be a bit hard to find, but I remember these as worth seeing from the movies I’ve seen over the last year. I’ve seen some of these movies multiple times. If you haven’t seen The Mission, I suggest that as my all time favorite. True Romance is a very close second. I think Evil Dead 2 and Sixth Sense are tied at 3rd.

Here are some I remember as lacking enough to be bad:  Next, The Village and Norbit. I don’t call things “bad” very often. Most of the rest of the things I’ve seen recently have had both good and bad qualities and sometimes I have to watch things several times before I can really make any sense of my thoughts. For example, during the time that I spent having poor distance vision and tried to play hockey, I tried many ways to see properly while wearing face and head protection. Glasses absolutely were a no go and I tried many different pairs of contacts, but none of those seemed to work without causing more difficult problems. Contacts and seeing different eye specialists was very expensive as well. I’d be pretty stupid to not wear face/head protection and just wear glasses. I’m a little crazy, but I’m not a little stupid. I got a pair of sport glasses made and they kept sliding around because I sweat, a lot. They would get moisture in the lense no matter what I did. That just put me back to not being able to see what was going on the distance and sweat got in my eyes more often than not. I suppose I could have suctioned those things to my face so hard that my eyeballs bulged out, but I never found a way to do that and I like my eyeballs, which is why popping them out of my head doesn’t make sense. Eventually, I just played with bad distance vision (after I practiced skating that way and watching a lot of real games that way). I learned to rely on my ears and certain types of movements, even if I could not see them clearly. Some how, I learned how to rely on sound and quick patterning of specific movements. It’s a little hard to explain, but I just wanted to play, so I figured it out.

Just when I thought I’d gone off on a tangent, I remembered why this is related to my thoughts on movies. I learned how to listen to movies in more detail because of my search to see while playing hockey. I already listen to music that way, because I don’t need to see it. Anyway, I suggest to both blind or deaf people to watch or listen (whichever applies) to the film, “The Mission”. For those who are blind and deaf, have someone take you to a nice home theater, have then start the movie, then have them turn up the volume until you can feel the vibrations coming out of the speakers. That’s about the best praised I could ever give a film. The first five minutes of “True Romance”  hooked me. I knew that James Gandolfini (sp?) was going places after that brilliant performance. I am not a fan of much of Patricia Arquette’s work, but she gets a high standing with me for “True Romance” alone. She could punch me in the face, and I’d probably let it slide. Christian Slater struggles well and “True Romance” showed us all that he’s got it, in there, somewhere. Brad Pitt with the honey bear as a slow giver of information makes me chuckle no matter how many times I see “True Romance”. “Balky” made the ENTIRE who’s going to shoot first, three parties with guns, scene. It’s just a festival of a story and it came together well. The only thing that sticks out as not particularly well woven was the “Elvis?”, Val Kilmer thing. Still, it’s a great movie all around. When you do watch it, if you haven’t already, pay close attention to the scene involving the “trailer” or “mobile home”, located directly next water and shortly after ‘Bamma and Clerance leave. That’s right – the Italians were black.

I have received a few questions recently via e-mail, so I will spend a little time here today, attempting to answer them on here, just in case any other reader(s) are curious for some reason. Jay from “parts unknown” Canada wants to know if I tell the people whose names I mention on this blod that they are being mentioned. Wow Jay, that’s an interesting question. My friend Brad, my mother, Leif and Jen are all aware of this blog and I know that at least one of them in on my mailing list. Some people, like Cal Ripkin Jr., the Ripkin Family and Olie Kolzig or Alexader Ovechkin are used to being written about and that’s part of the package that they’ve accepted, so I have not directly asked those particular people if I have permission to write about them. If someone I did mention reads my blog and approaches me regarding something I’ve written here, I plan on listening. Some people who have been mentioned on this blog and former incarnations have been given different names. Some of them have been simply called “dude”, or “this person”. I will out MY personal life here, and if I know someone would like to remain anonymous, then I will not break that request. Sometimes I can’t type about some things in my personal life, because even writing about an anonymous person can out that person by reason of deduction, so a few people in my personal life are not mentioned here.

I can move onto the next question and continue to answer Jay’s question simultaneously at this point. Terra from Virgina, USA sent a few comments about her feelings on Washington Capitals hockey and from that came the question to me, “how can you think that you are important enough to think that you can writ about the Washington Capitals the way youdo if yur claiming to be fan?” I asked Terra if I could cut this question directly from her e-mail to me and paste it exactly as she wrote it on this blog. Terra agreed. I promised to answer her question on this blog. We had a little bit of e-mail conversation regarding some of her comments, but I will now answer her question. Part of what happens sometimes is that readers have not read all of my entries or seen the other incarnations of my blog, so it makes sense that certain things get out of context. I have one Capitals shirt for everyday of the week. I have already purchased my Kolzig jersey with the new caps look. I have been athletic in one or another since I was a very little girl. I have been a goalie for many years, although I have not played the same sports through that time, but I have been a goalie in a sport that has a net for at least 17 years of my 25 years on Earth. I also swam for the Rock Spring Racers for maybe 6 years. I also played with mean boys when anything with water froze over enough around our area to allow a hockey game. I think, based on one of your statements, Terra, that you perhaps did not know that. Plus, I don’t think I’m important at all. I just know that it helps me to practice my typing and writing skills to blog here. Sometimes other people like to know what is going on in someone else’s world in order see his or her “world” in a way that perhaps that had not previously. I could be bullshitting and don’t really know anything about hockey at all. I can’t answer your question without telling you that not only do I always gravitate toward the goal and the goalie’s perspective when I watch a game with a net that needs to be guarded, but I know the Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup one day and I hope everyday that Olie Kolzig will be there for it. I also hope that I will be there too! I’m critical of certain things, because I learn about them everyday and I am focused on them. I also have a constitutional right as a typer of this blog who happens to be sitting in the United States of America to express my views. I agree with you 100% on the choice of food at the Verizon Center Terra!

Terra actually sent an e-mail question a few months ago that I forgot to answer. I’m gonna stick with “Better late than never” and answer Terra’s question regarding travel and hotels. No Terra, that was not me and that is why the person who you were speaking with acted as though she did not know what you were talking about when you approaced her. I would not ignore someone who was attempting to speak me and I have never been to the location where you were so certain you saw me and I ignored you completely. I must have a familiar face Terra. You are not the first person to have that experience and I can name many instances when people will seriously walk up to me as though they are sure they know me, yet they discover that I am not the person they though I looked like.

Terra is also a Washington Capitals hockey fan and we first started out on the boards at Washingtoncaps.com. I don’t typically have time to go there anymore, so Terra will sometimes e-mail me directly to discuss CAPS hockey stuff. I think I pissed her off with one of my recent entries. I understand your reaction Terra, but it’s all good. I’ll be a fan ’till the end.

I had a paragpraph in an entry that got lost at some point, so I wanted to mention that I do recognize all the people who made Olie Kolzig the goalie he is today and that no one who is really good at something gets there by themselves. If I hadn’t taken 10th grade English with Mr. Levy, I’d be a different person today. If I didn’t have Shaun coaching me all the time when I played soccer for McDonogh during the winter season, I would not have done so well as a goalie. Because of other people, I am a better person, so I don’t usually forget that one person has a team behind them.

I remember Shaun running around behind the net telling me to stop playing like I’m playing indoors. I played indoor goalie before I played outdoor goalie. There’s a big difference, because bounces can make or break the deal sometimes. It took a couple of games, but then I finally got what Shaun was yelling and I came out away from the net and charged more often to change the shot angles. When I played indoors, sticking to the net is more important and leaving the net, even for a charge is a big risk, because any bounce or single play can put the ball behind you and you won’t have time to recover if your defense didn’t take over. Well, I did not mention the Washington Capital’s coaching staff, but I hope that Terra recognizes that I am always considering the entire package.

I can go back to my hotel now so while I’m waiting for my release papers, I want to bring to any cat lovers out there that little Emma, the fiesty little cat that I have mentioned on this blog several times is ready to go up for adoption. She is about 3 years old and weighs about 8.5 pounds. I don’t have what I need to get a picture up here right now, but she is small and treads lightly. She has asthma, which means that someone must have the ability to have Emma use her “Puffer” once a day. You will be supplied with the puffer, enough medications to last a few months and you will be shown how to “puff” her properly. She has a bebe stuck in the skin of her left armpit, but it does not bother her in anyway and is okay to leave as it is. She has a small heart murmur, but has not had any problems with her heart in the year and a half that I have known her. I will be taking her to the cardiologist next week to get her yearly heart check-up. If everything looks good, she will be ready to find a permanent home. She was surviving outdoors with two kittens when she was found and she suffers from something similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, seen in humans, but her demeanor has improved greatly and will do just fine in a house where cat experience is present. Her new home, however, should not contain children under the age of 10 years old. I do not de-claw any animal unless it is meant to save the animal’s life and/or quality of life. Sometimes, when she plays, she will extend her claws. She does not have any intent of hurting anyone, but young children are not aware of this and Emma does not know that young children can be hurt by her claws. Any one who wishes to consider adopting Emma should contact me, but should also be aware that Emma is not to have her claws removed, unless certain circumstances arise. My e-mail address is at the top of the page.

My papers and instructions have come, so I’m off to mail things and play with Emma – have some good INDOOR music today North East – it’s a ball buster out there – peace

Hey Dr. Leibowitz I LOVE my fluffy, plaid BOOTIES

Tuesday, August 07, 2007, 12:26:00 PM

I’m supposed to wear these odd contraptions for plantar fascitis on my feet when I go to sleep. Well, I’ll guess I’ll just say that my very first boot-thing I could not bend, so I was supposed to take it off every time I got up to pee or something. That lasted for a little while, then I got frustrated with the thing, so I decided to hop to the bathroom. Seeing as I am so full of bright ideas(or so I might think in the middle of the night), I thought that hopping on my right foot would be a reasonable way to handle my trips in and out of the bedroom. Okay, well except for the part that I forgot. The nice-big, solid hardwood, chest sitting to the left of my bed. Yes, hopping while very sleepy and in a rush to pee ended-up adding to my joy, because I managed to hop with the right foot and kick my left foot right into that thing. Brilliant! That happened at the end of last year, and then shortly thereafter, a full, mega-sized, glass jar of pickles, dill to be specific, fell out of the fridge and landed right on my poor little left foot. So at that point the total damage to my left foot was two broken toes, one stress fracture, a bone-spur that sticks out of my foot, two “twin-toes” (two of my toes are fused on my left foot – it’s a genetic thing that skips generations) that can’t decide which toe gets to work the muscle and severe plantar fascitis.

So, along with what seems to me as an entire damn army of doctors, physicians and specialists, I’ve been trying to deal with one situation at a time. My orthopedist was more aggitated that he couldn’t quite figure out what was going on than I was. I have two different specialists now instead of my orthopedist, but he still calls me up and tells me to do my exercises. This last time I talked to him, he told me that if don’t wear my night booty contraptions, my feet won’t get better (I worked my way up to two booties!). So, thanks to the internet, I was able to locate a pair of nice, cushioned, pillow booties (my orthopedist gives me a look of disdain when I call them “booties” and I can’t call them anthing but “booties” – sorry Bruce – looks like were stuck). I can wear these things to the bathroom and the kitchen and even while doing some of my fantastically boring exercises. Yay booties! And – these booties don’t scare little children. I finally got a pair of comfy around the house booties and it’s like winning a million dollars. Well, close to that anyway.

I spend a certain amount of time on the internet each day. I don’t get to read as much as I’d like. Right now, I have to consider picking up a consulting job here and there. Mostly so that I am forced to get up and go do something useful. One of my certs is the ever-popular Microsoft Certified Professional. I managed to time it effectively enough to certify just before VISTA hit the streets. Over the years, it has just turned out that when no one else can figure out some technological difficulty, the entire sha-bang gets dropped on me. Until I became an MCP, not too long ago, I had no training in networks or platforms or all that goobldy goodness that makes my brain work really hard. I have an aptitude for it, however, as I said, people figure out that I can probably fix it. Yeah, okay and I usually don’t say “no”.

I mention all the technology goodies, because I had to explain to a former client how blacklists work. That lead to a 3 1/2 hour dissertation on my part as to how to get off blacklists, what to do about SPAM (oh, now that’s just a plain out cyclical battle that could go on for quite some time). Viruses, worms and other little implanted creepy crawlies, will eventually, find their way in if a network isn’t maintained properly. I had to go all through what a port was and why certain ports should always stay closed. This has reminded me that I really don’t want to get sucked into the tech stuff right now. Maybe next year. I have a feeling I know as much about technology as I do, simply because during the course of my life, technology has constantly changed. The first media device I learned to use as a child was the 8-Track player. Let’s say at least 28 years have passed since that time. I began on the first home Macintosh available and now have laptop that I know how to take apart and put back together properly. I could go into dreat depth about this subject, but I have to see another doctor today and take care of all that BS paperwork that comes with being the “Executive Director” of something. I usually just refer to myself as “Mia” and the “Executive Director” part only gets used for official documents.

Some of you may already know that I’ve started a “business” called First Love Animal Services. I had originally started the process to become a non-profit organization and then life got in the way for those involved. Now I’m thinking I shoudl take a faster route and just be a “for profit” business. There are a lot of differences as far as the Federal Government is concerned between the two types of businesses. The object, for me, as its creator, is to assist any wildlife, domesticated animal, stray animal, behaviorally challenged animal or injured animal in any manner necessary to secure the animal’s best interests. I’ve been around animals all of my life. I completely understand that I put myself at much higher risk for Lyme Disease because I put myself close to the danger of Deer Ticks. I don’t have much to say about that other than  – sometimes you just have to take the hit.

I’ve been researching some things related to First Love and I’m trying to decide on a few things. My grant-writing genius and personal assistant had a major hit herself this year. Her 5 year old daughter was playing in their neighborhood and stumbled on the curb resulting in a terrible smack in the head from a mailbox. Her daughter suffered large brain traumas and the entire family had to move so that the little one could be seen by a specialist far away from MD. Obviously, she has her hands full and her daughter seems to be improving. I speak with her when she finds time and she does her best to steer me in the right direction. I can only do so much by myself, so all of this has been on my mind. Maybe tomorrow will bring another little piece of the puzzle.

I’m a fan of SCRUBS! If you’re one who likes to laugh, SCRUBS is a good one.

I’m doing the hotel thing again today. This hotel lets me bring one of my cats, so Emma and I are hanging out together for some one-on-one time. It’s a bit of a story behind my recent stint of numerous hotel stays. The long story can wait, but the short story is that I just got a permanent address and since I am basically my own general contractor, not much gets done. I’m satisfied with the pace, but there are other factors involved that require faster movement on part. It’s an efficiency thing. Especially when I have to be at an appointment concerning my health. If I’m too far away and it’s a bad day, I can’t get there. Or I can, but it’s usually not a good idea for me to do anything at some points. I increase the chances of getting to my medical and business appointments if I’m as close as I can be to them when I wake up in the morning.

I’d like to comment quickly about the reason I blog. I know I’ve mentioned it in here a few times before, but I’ll re-cap – do you really need to know?

I’m sure I’ll back here soon so onward ho and find your sound – peace – mia

I want to be mad at myself, but I just can’t!

Monday, August 06, 2007, 9:07:00 AM

…silly, silly, silly things and many, many, many circus rings. Every, every, every child, running, running, running wild. Flying, flying, flying Ladies. Looking, looking, looking for Slim Shadies…

The way in which I end up typing things out here changes as I continue forward in time. Sometimes, I have more time than other times. Other times I feel compelled to prioritize my thoughts. I have had the inclination to get a little perturbed with myself when I re-read an entry and find totally obvious mistakes in grammer, spelling or instances in which I forgot entire words, sometimes in pairs. Recently, however, I suppose I became aware of the whole Lyme thing and that, in itself, explains so much that has gone wrong with my life in the last 8 years. Things that go wrong with your blood are really hard to control and predict. Depending on an individual’s chemistry and physiology, and ambient environment (as in what’s going on around you at certain points in time), a serious bacterial (or viral) infection can affect all parts of a person’s body in any number of ways. My gums got it pretty good and I’ve already had gum-grafts done. The only thing I just can’t forget about that whole experience was the novacane needle in the upper-roof of the mouth, just under the nose. It’ll be a lot harder to get me in the peridontist chair this time!

I think I just plain got over the last 8 years as quickly as I could, so that I can proceed forward. I still have a few lingering rememberences, like the needle in the roof of the mouth situation previously mentioned. I go there when it’s necessary. I feel relief more than anything else. ROCK!

Many, many things to get done today, so I’m off. Love to all who need it – peace – mia

How could I go and forget Cal Ripkin!

Sunday, August 05, 2007, 12:46:00 PM

Yes, I completely forgot to send out props to Cal Ripkin. I used to go to Orioles games with my parents at the old stadium on 33rd Street. I remeber that Al bumbry, Doug Dacinces (I have no idea how to spell his last name – I just know it rhymes with “over the fences”), Eddie Murray and Jim Palmer were on the team when we went to see the games. I remember Wild Bill Hagy (not sure the last name is spelled correctly). I remember the tomatoes growing in the stadium (I think they were Earl Weaver’s). I also remember that Cal Ripkin Sr. was one of the base coaches or something like that.

My parents stop taking us to ball games after “the strike”, and by then, I’d already become really interested in hockey, so I didn’t particularly follow the O’s. However, I grew up in the same county as the Ripkin family and live less than twenty miutes from Ripkin Stadium, so I’ve heard about the Ripkins most of my life. I understand why he’s called the “Iron Man” and I’ve met him here and there at local functions. I remember that some of the O’s would come and play basketball with some teaching staff at C. Milton Wright High School. I’m not sure who won any of those games.

He always appeared friendly and he took time out for fans. Anyway, I guess I have to be “a girl” about the whole baseball thing though. I know what great record he broke and when, but the real deal for me is the fact that the Ripkin’s have been loyal to one team for years and years and they have contributed continuously to the area from which they come. If you haven’t seen Ripkin Stadium in Aberdeen, MD yet, you should put that on your list of things to do! Oh and if you twist the “I have to be a girl about the whole baseball thing,” to “I’m a hockey fan and I only need hockey, so the other sports are for other people” thereby removing the gender, perhaps I won’t be so annoyed when you judge me. And you know you do.

I appreciate that in most, if not all, of today’s professional sports, players are traded all over the place and most do not stay with a single team for their entire career. I was in Aberdeen when the fireworks in honor of Cal (I’m assuming, because I never got confirmation, but they were coming from the stadium so…) were set-off in grand fashion. I could not get out to see any fireworks on Independence Day (US), but I got a fantastic show just by havng a hotel room in Aberdeen when Cal’s tribute fireworks hit the sky. That was quite a show. I don’t get as thrilled as some at the sight of fireworks, but I just have to give a big thumbs for all those responsible for those particular fireworks. WOW! So go Cal, just for that. He’s just a regular guy to most people in Harford County, and his contributions go beyond baseball for us.

Anyway, I meant to put a Cal Ripkin Congrats in here for being inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame a couple of entries ago, but only now just got to it. Also, it’s one of the reasons I’m an Olie Kolzig fan. He’s been with the CAPS, so far, for the length of his career. He contributes to important things outside of hockey. As a well-trained and practiced goal-keeper in sports with nets myself, and a keen watcher of NHL net-minders, I pretty much can say with no doubt that if any other NHL goalie currently still in starting position were there for the CAPS instead of Olie, the Washington Capitals would probably have the highest goalie turn-over in the NHL right now.

Kolzig’s patience and mechanics work really well for the Capitals. I’ve been watching all the team games during the entire NHL season (well, expect for this year because of a certain cable company which doesn’t need a mention) and I always watch from the net-minder’s perspective, as that is how I naturally tend, for at least nine years and many partial seasons of other teams and full seasons of the CAPS for at least four before that. I started watching Capitals Hockey on TV before I learned to ride a bike, so I’ve seen every game for at least 25 years. The one thing I am 100% certain that I can pull from all of that experience, is that our man Kolzig is the only goalie in the NHL who could have survived all these years. It’s not like the CAPS have had a lot of really great years. Some of them could even be classified as disasterous. If I were in Kolzig’s skates during some of seasons prior to the lock-out, I’m sure the entire place would be able to hear me cussing and yelling things to the “D”. I would probably break more sticks than I could afford to break and have get a second job just to pay for them. Let’s face it, the man has been completely shelled more often than not during his career. I know that the rest of the NHL goalies just wouldn’t have the mental stamina to last as long as Olie has lasted with the CAPS.

Well, there’s two guys right there I appreciate for sticking it out. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to see most of the CAPS home games at the Verizon Center. If I can’t make it to the games, I can sit at home and listen to Joe and Locker do their thing. Those two are another reason to be a CAPS fan. Even if a CAPS game is totally just plain in the dirt and all hope is lost on the ice, Joe and Locker always have something to say. I haven’t ever run into “Locker”, so I can type this out here, but I did bump into Joe once at the ticket holders counter and told him that he and “Locker” crack-me up. I was a little bit awe-struck, even though Joe is shorter than I am, so I’m fairly certain that I came across like an idiot, but at least the words came out of my mouth. Joe just amazes me as a play-by-play guy, he totally kicks ass!

I guess, a few last words about hockey for today – I know I stated in a previous entry that I would continue my thoughts about some things Don Cherry said at the end of the play-offs last season. I re-read what I had already written and it seems that I had already summed it up nicely in that entry, so just take that as my final thought. I realize it’s not hockey season for many people right now, but for me, it’s hockey season all year long. Yup, I’m one of THOSE kinds of hockey fans. I was thinking about the most blatant malfunction with the CAPS last season and I did actually come up with a #1 pretty quickly. It took forever and forever for someone to make the decision to NOT let Ovechkin shoot first during the shoot-outs. I spent plenty of games in front of my TV yelling out to the hockey GODS to get the shoot-out order changed. It did start to change toward the end of the season. I’d hope that Ovechkin gets, either a ton of practice with one-on-one shots, or that he shouldn’t even be in the top three, unless absolutely necessary. I’ve been told that I am too critical of the CAPS and some have even gone so far as to say that I am a “fair-weather” fan. It seems to me that the people who said those things have no idea who I am and how much I just plain love the game of hockey, and that I’m all up in it to the very best of my ability. Yeah, I’m of THOSE kinds of people.

Okay, I feel a reversal of stomach contents coming on – must go now -peace and music-mia

Hello Brain – My name is Mia

Saturday, August 04, 2007, 9:49:00 AM

As shown in the previous blog entry, my brain was on vacation. I even re-read some of the paragraphs a few times to edit. Uhhh (drool, slobber, drool) me stupid sometimes, mmmmm.

I did actually mean to reference the film “Exorcist” and I should have made reference to the film I did mention as “The Omen”. I was visualization the correct film, but typed out the incorrect film title for some reason. My grammatical sense must have been taking a snooze as well. However, I did find that “wokring” was quite amusing after a while. Who wants to WORK when they can WOK?! Hopefully it at least made some sense.

My brain seems a lot better today. But, perhpas I’m not the best judge. I do want to make it clear that it is very, very rare for people nowadays to be affected by the bacteria that invaded my body via a bite and “spit” from an infected Deer Tick nymph (baby). Those Deer Ticks nymphs that do get infected are basically carriers of something that they got from some process that began with a rodent (rat). In general terms, I had a baby Deer Tick bite me and stay on by ass for long enough to have the insides of the tick squished into my blood. It was on my rear so I probably sat on it and killed it. I have recently discovered that I was not prescribed anywhere near the proper amount of anti-biotics when that tick was found and then extracted after I sought medical advice. Essentially, the first Lyme test I took did not come up positive. It would seem that one of the many whose first test ended up being a “False” reading. At that point, I removed the thought of Lyme from my head. Bad move on part, but now I’m sure.

My only hope is that someone, somewhere, sometime who may be suspecting that they, or someone they know, has been infected by a Deer Tick, takes the matter directly to an INTERNIST and start doing some research. It turns out that I’ve been cycling the bacteria for a little more than 8 years. That is a really long time to go without knowing what is actually happening. If you find any kind of tick – THE BEST WAY to remove it is to get a pair of tweezers (or two sharp knives) and slowly and carefully remove the tick from the body to which it has attached itself as close to the attachment point as possible. In other words, go for the head of the tick and not the body of the tick. DO NOT try to smear or douce the tick and attachment with ANYTHING WHATSOEVER while the tick is still attached to the body. The object is to keep whatever is inside the tick from going back into the blood of the body to which it has attached itself.

If the head stays attached to the body, IT IS OKAY. Worry about the body of the tick first. A Deer Tick baby is tiny. Even when it fully engourged with blood, it is still very hard to see sometimes. Really on your sense of touch if you cannot see certain parts of your body or get a buddy to help you check things out. Have someone else remove the tick for you if you are able to do so, but be gentle and there is absolutely no reason to panic; just be carefull. Once the tick’s body has been removed, there are numerous ways to dispose of it’s body if it is dead. I won’t get into all of that, because if you’ve had to follow the instructions above, you should already be researching Lyme Disease, Deer Ticks and all the proper and correct moves to make directly after disovering an actual Deer Tick (there are other dangerous ticks to the South and West (I believe) of Maryland as well). Get several opinions and DO NOT BACK DOWN if anyone tries to prescribe anti-biotics for any period of time less than ONE ENTIRE YEAR. Some peoples’ chemistries differ enough to also tell you that you may be one of the few who cannot tolerate an entire year of anti-biotics. At this point, I am one of those people. However, a good internist will work with you to find the best possible ways to keep your immune system strong and help you stop the bacteria from cycling. That will relieve most, if not all of the symptoms, most of the time. Like I said, take your life seriously enough to be educated about what happens to you and even if have take an extra bus trips or walk an extra mile or drag your sorry self to every doctor you can possible find and fight your insurance company, based on my experience, IT IS IMPORTANT.

As I stated in a previous paragraph, my symptoms are extremely rare and Lyme Disease is not classified as a fatal disease. I can’t give it to anyone, as far as I know, so I try not to call it a “disease”, and I feel for the town of Lyme, CT, because it isn’t just their “disease” and it may not have even originated in Lyme, CT. My symptoms are so severe because I was not aware that I was cycling through the 3 stages for the last 8 eight years and my immune system is exhausted from fighting the cycles. Plus, the stress of my every-day-life has done my immune system no favors at all. My acid reflux or GERD or whatever anyone wants to call it, was caused because I tend to let all my sress go to my Upper-GI system. A lot of the arthritis pain I am experiencing is caused more by the breaks, tears and sprains from my years being involved with one sport or another. I have also been in car accidents and there have been other injuries caused by other things, so I have an extra load of sypmtoms. I also have to keep my heart situation in check, because I started out with a minor heart problem in the first place. Don’t let my symptoms scare you to the point where you get all wrapped up in them and you miss my point. Lyme Disease is one of the few blood problems that a human can get that a human can also reverse if proper and timely action is taken. Many, many people who have been infected by a Deer Tick live long and healthy lives. Some of those people never even perceive a single symptom.

One might think that I’d be pissed off that no one could figure out that I had been infected for 8 flippin’ years. By this point in my life, I’ve discovered that being pissed off is only going to screw up my physiology, so I’m not pissed off. I’m disappointed with many things and people, but I’m not angry. Plus, I have some freak-like tolerance for pain, so I could have been more informative when speaking with medical personnel. I just trucked-on through it all, thinking that I was depressed or lazy or just plain lived a little too hard for the first 25 years of my life. I’m sure all of that is true. It may seem a complete paradox to you (and again, thanks for stopping by and reading for a little while), but I feel LUCKY as anyone can be right now. So far, I’m still here, on Earth, helping animals, watching hockey, singing songs, laughing at funny things and bitching about the fact that I can’t even make it 20 steps some days. I’m okay with “giving up the ghost,” as some say and the thought of dying from a stressed heart, or anything else for that matter, does not scare me or make me sad for myself. We all have to go sometime. Frankly, I would really pity someone who had to live forever. I have accomplished many of the goals I set for myself at some point in the past. I have met many interesting people. I have been many interesting places and I have experienced plenty for one lifetime. I think I’ll forge my way through all of this mess and come out okay, but if the Universe and all of it’s goodness decide otherwise, I won’t really argue the point. I’ll go down fighting if I go, but I won’t be complaining about it.

I dangle participles in my blog entries all the time, and don’t seem to be dropping the habit. I feel compelled to do it. Who knows? I realized many years ago that I am naturally empathetic to the point where I can feel the actual pain of others. Some of you may find that very silly and just dumb. Nonetheless, in my world it remains and stands as a fact. I’m certain now that my propensity for empathy is also a part of the reason that my Lyme symptoms are more pronounced. Well, it is what it is and I am who I am, so I’ll just stay on the “wave” for a while and see if I can keep balance long enough to shoot the “curl.”

Now onto much better things – it never ceases to amaze me when I see things that not everyone sees. Take for example my little run-in with a certain Marsupial that lives in the trees behind my mother’s house. I came down the back driveway in the late evening after a trip to the store and I say an animal using the litter box that I had left, still dirty, outside. At very first glimpse I thought it was a neighborhood cat. After the third take, I clearly saw that a Possum was doing number one in the cat box. I stopped and watched. It saw me and gave me a bit of snarly teeth, but continued doing its thing. I am not that good at telling a male from a female Possum if there are no signs of youngsters, so I am not sure of the gender, but I am sure that the Possum was not very concerned about me. It finished up and slowly waddled it’s way into the darkness again without giving me another look. I can only guess that the Possum was trying to cover the scent with its own, but maybe it was a confused Possum leaving signs of “love” so it can get some tail. I do know that there are young Possums now, because I saw one hanging onto a parent (I’m assuming it was Momma Possum). I have also seen another child/parent pair. One set was smaller than the other, so I know I’ve seem two different pairs. They aren’t exactly cute and cuddly, but they sure are neat to watch. Marsupials are interesting in general.

I’ve got some things to do, so I’ll be off now. If you can sing, you’re alright – peace – mia

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