When IT All Comes Down Around

Good afternoon from Music City, MD. I have about 16 pages of entries I have to get up on this blog, so I’m admitting to being behind in my posts the likes of which I have not seen before. I prefer that this particular blog get “live” posts. For example, I type them in one sitting and I Publish then in the same sitting. It keeps things more current and relevant in my mind. In this case, I have realized that I now have 16 pages of bullshit to pull from should need ever arise.

And it begins – once again …Two particles collide, but the search will not subside. The whether makes a statement quickly, but yet, it’s more slow, and slickly. A martyr does a dead white girl make, now that’s publicity one cannot fake. A young man from “Down Under” died in his sleep, but maybe he’s still there – not uttering a peep…

I do a little …something, something, something… in more than 85% of any entry I have published on the internet. If I were you and you come back to read more – I’d get used to that if were you. But now, I’ll think I’ll start my entry by listing as many well-known people who come from Maryland as I can right now. Here goes –

Lewis Black (angry, funny guy most recently seen on tour and Comedy Central), Micheal Phelps (Greatest Olympian ever), Jada Pincket Smith (she acts and she’s married to Will Smith), Edward Norton, John Waters (he directs some homegrown, perverted, madness, and his movie “Cry Baby” helped make someone famous), David Byrne (general all around artist, but most of you will recognize him as the lead dude for “The Talking Heads”. There are many more I can think of at the moment, but I’m discovering that if I list as many as I can think of right now, I may never get off of this computer today and I have some work to do. (I’ll get to that later)

I currently live in Baltimore County. If I walk South East about two blocks, I am in Baltimore City. I’ve lived in Harford and Baltimore Counties about the same amount of time in each. I have also lived in the City. It is a matter of tremendous pride living in Baltimore County, Maryland, USA these days, because that is where the greatest Olympian to walk the Earth so far was raised from a pup. I don’t usually watch the Summer Olympics (I’m a Winter sport girl for the most part), but this year I saw almost every event that was televised. I watched mostly water sports though. I started swimming when I was very young, and I swam in competition for about nine years until I was about 13 or 14 years old. I enjoyed watching the Olympics this year. If I weren’t hindered by poor health, I have a feeling I wouldn’t have been as interested in the Olympics. Okay, so my point is, Maryland produces some very notable people.

Maryland is also very expensive to live in, for the most part. There is a lot of real estate on the water in Maryland. Our state may not be that big, but we have Ocean front property, Mountain view property, bayside property, Washington D.C. is cut right into our state. We have all sorts of goodies that some might not notice. Oh and if one were to pull apart all the statistics that put Maryland high up on the list of states with high numbers of people who die of heart related problems, it would be discovered that most of those people died in cardiac-care hospitals in Maryland, such as Johns Hopkins. If all of your heart patients leave your state to try to get better heart care, then it would make sense that your state’s heart patients will either come back to your state having been treated successfully for their heart problems, or they died in the state in which they were receiving heart-care. This is one of the reasons I try to avoid blatant use of statistics. Statistics can be twisted and spun. I must be on some kick about maryland pride or something. I’m not sure I had any before. It’s hard to say.

I have recently been confronted with a situation involving things were only thought to happen two blocks SE, in The City. My friend was jumped by several teenagers in broad daylight, right at my doorstep last Saturday. The youths knocked his glasses off and tried to reach for his wallet. They were unsuccessful in getting the wallet, but they were quite good at leaving huge fist lumps in the back of my friends head. My friend who has absolutely in his wallet ever and who has no health insurance got jumped by teenagers who are either trying to live the “thug life” or are just plain ignorant. Hey Momma’s in the Overbrook/Edmonson cross-street area – where were your children last Saturday around 5pm? Who were they with? Why are so many people getting shot were you live? Why did the young boys who jumped my friend run in your direction when I chased them? I wish I knew the answers to those questions. I hope people stop dying. I hope a gang hasn’t found my apartment to be an “area interest” since I painted over what could very well have been a “gang tag”. Well, the “tag” wasn’t creative and the boys (and I call them boys, because men don’t jump poor people en mass and then run away) who attacked my friend heard what I screamed at them as they ran away. If they still want to come back – they have been warned.

In general I like Maryland, even though violent crimes happen and living here is a pain in the wallet, so to speak. I don’t like some of the people in Maryland who do stupid things. I just recently found out that David Byrne is from Arbutus, which is not very far from where I currently live. The Catonsville Times has a front-page feature story on David Byrne this week. I didn’t know Lewis Black was from Maryland until recently either. I’ve heard stories from locals that Edward Norton is from Columbia, MD in Howard County and that everyone who knew him is sure he’s had chin work done. Chin work or not, he’s good at what he does.

Many movies and parts of movies get filmed in Maryland, but most people wouldn’t even know. Some movies feature Baltimore City, but many just used random parts of the City and Counties to film where it is less expensive. Yup, it’s cheap to make movies in Maryland. It used to be a good place to film television shows too, but I fear that is a thing of the past. Given the nature of the show “Homicide: Life on the Street” and “The Wire”, Baltimore looks like a big pile of crime to the outside the world now and some elected officials are not allowing it to continue. I believe in artistic expression, so I don’t condone the shows, or even the 50 Cent song portraying a Baltimore Heroin addict, but I will say it would be nice if a network show that doesn’t involve having to know detectives’ names revolving around Baltimore City were around. There are actually several documentaries out and about that show some pretty seedy and unfavorable material about Baltimore. It would have been nice if Michael Phelps were from Baltimore City.

I suppose I also tend to think of Washington DC as “The City” to me because I’ve heard I was born there and I am a Washington Capitals fan. The Caps used to play in Landover, MD, so it was a bit easier for some Marylanders and Virginians to go the US Air Arena to see the Caps Play. Now it’s easier for others to see the Caps play and harder for me to see them play – although, I am on West side of I-695 now, so that help. I have decided not to get my hopes up and have planted firmly in my head that I won’t be able to get to the Verizon Center this season to see the Caps play. If I even hold out even the tiniest bit of hope for that, that pursuit will drive me crazier than I already am. I know that I’ll have a place to live until the end of January. With that place to live comes Verizon Fios, so I will at least be able to watch the games on television. GO CAPS.

The thought of being sick and homeless is lurking so nicely around the outskirts of my brain. I do the best I can with every single second of “healthy” time that I have, but I have the impending fear gnawing at me constantly that my “best”, at this point just isn’t going to be good enough. I try to ask for help, but I’m not exactly sure what kind of help I need. Well, other than money. That’d be a stress reliever, which in turn would give me more time to find out why I’m so sick. Actually, I know why at this point, up to the part where my multi-symptomatic problems are all real, but have not pin-pointed a specific illness. All I know, is that it gets boring, annoying and frustrating more and more often for me. I can best explain how I feel by perhaps equating to getting beaten by some sort of invisible mafia that wants something from me everyday. I wish I knew what the invisible wanted from me.

Earlier this year more than one doctor explained that I will have to get shots and take a lot of pain medication as my condition worsens. It has worsened. However, I barely take any medications nowadays and I do not get any shots. The fact that I have no money to pay for these things is only a part of why I stopped popping all the pills and why I have not sought out someone who is going to fill me syringes full of chemicals. First off, I feel just as depressed and sad on anti-depressants as I did off. I waited a long time before I even considered medication for depression. If one were to use the DSM-IV-R to put a psychological label on the type of depression I suffer, than I would be classified as a Manic Depressive. Nowadays, I think I’d be considered Bi-Polar, but in the end, it all boils down to the fact that I have a lot to be depressed about and I haven’t done myself yet, so I might as well just fight my way through it all without the pills that I eventually did try. I’ve tried three different types of medications and I am not willing to try anymore. I’m just me, having a bad life right now, so if I have to fore go all the medication and just get hit head-on with all the pain, physical or otherwise, than that is what I will do at this point.

I have to mention that I am sending all the most positive vibes I can in the direction of a New York Rangers fan I know (there’s no accounting for taste). Tucker Davis, who came down from New York last year on his Birthday visit and to see the Capitals play the Pens at the Verizon Center, has recently discovered that he has Liver Cancer. Tucker had 1/4 of his liver removed on Tuesday and seems to be doing okay at the moment. He’s not even 28 (I don’t think so anyway). I had an instant connection with Tucker because we both love our hockey teams with great passion. I found it very easy to talk hockey with Tucker. He is a little upset that a picture of him wearing a Washington Capitals shirt in from of a huge Washington Capitals logo made it onto his Christmas cards last year. I mean think of all those fellow NY Rangers fans who received a Christmas card with a big Washington Capitals logo on it – not to mention a staunch Rangers fan on the front grinning it up, adorned with a Washington Capitals T-shirt. Oh yeah, that’s right the Caps ROCK!!!!! Tucker had such a great time at that game and he came away with a puck signed by team captain, Chris Clark. I am hoping my NY hockey buddy stays around a while so we can give each other crap about whose team is better via text-message. Of course, we all know the Capitals rule, but what the heck, the Rangers do have Henrik Lundqvist. King Henrick is right.

As I mentioned earlier in the entry, I do have some work to do. I was actually contacted by an ECHL team (that’s hockey of course) and I have been given a very small contract to help assess certain goalie practices and skills. A random person out in the world just happen to have stumbled on my other blog Singing from the Crease and from there, I was given a small opportunity which I will take happily and quickly. My contract will not allow me to identify anything I am doing for this ECHL team, but it is an actual paying gig (not a lot, but hell, I’ll take it smiling), so I have to devote the rest of my Sunday to work.

I’ll be back soon and yes AC/DC – “There Be Rock” indeed!!!! Go Caps.


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